Mom Upset Over Getting Baby Clothes On Her 30th Birthday Called ‘Ungrateful’ And ‘Selfish’

Aug 15, 2022 by apost team

When a woman becomes a mother, it can be easy for people to forget that – behind the endless cycles of baby laundry, cleaning up baby, pumping and feeding – she is also her own person with her own needs. While a baby is the main priority, that doesn’t mean that a mother doesn’t have her own wishes, dreams, wants and desires. Just because she is a mother doesn’t mean she is only a mother.

A prime example of this was found on Reddit’s r/AITA board, where one mom posted about her 30th birthday experience. The milestone birthday can be a big deal in a person’s life as leaving your 20s signals a whole new era in one’s life and a large step into adulthood.

Birthdays are also a time when you are in the spotlight for a day. It’s a special time for those who love you and care about you to celebrate all that you are, which is why when they don’t, it can’t be such a letdown.

Such was the case for this mom turning 30. She wrote that while she loved her child tremendously, she didn’t expect those around her to see her role as a mother as the only thing worth celebrating about her.

“So it was my birthday a week ago and a few family members got me birthday gifts. One family member gave me a huge fancy gift bag and inside was all baby stuff. Bibs, clothes and soothers, all stuff I already have and don't need more of. I guess I look disappointed so she made a comment about how rude it was to not appreciate a gift,” she wrote.

The disappointment didn’t end there, as the mom eventually received more unwanted gifts that weren’t even technically for her.

“Another family member sheepishly handed me another gift and it was another f*****g ‘I love my mom’ type of onesie. I tried to act thankful but some family members could tell I was upset,” she wrote.

Unable to hide her feelings, she was criticized for her “ungrateful” reaction, which made her feel even worse.

“Several people have told me I was ungrateful and selfish and I should just appreciate what I've gotten but I'm so upset. I feel like no one cares about me, just my daughter. When I told a friend about this they said I'm an a*****e for being jealous of my child and I should just appreciate all the nice things they got for my baby,” she wrote.

She then took to Reddit to get the community’s opinion of the situation.

“Am I the a*****e for not appreciating what I got? Am I honestly being jealous of my baby? I didn't want anything extravagant this year I would have been happy with something from the thrift store as long as was meant for me and not my child. I felt like some people used my birthday as an excuse to go baby shopping. I know everyone is excited for my baby and I love them more than anything but it's like everyone has forgotten about me,” she wrote.

Since it was posted on July 31, 2022, it has received more than 6,500 upvotes and 1,000 comments, most of which were sympathetic toward the mom. Many said they felt sorry for the mom and that she deserved to be seen as someone more than just a mother. Others called out the possible double standards, saying it is highly unlikely that a father would ever receive baby clothes on his birthday.

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“It's your birthday, not your child's. Unless you specifically asked for baby clothes/stuff (some people do) they should buy things for YOU, not your children. You're not ‘just’ a mother, you're yourself: a whole person, and you're allowed to be treated as such every day and even more at your birthday,” one user commented.

The mom replied: “Thanks I think most people feel like now that I'm a mom everything I do and get should be going towards my kids. These same family members that bought the baby stuff for me give me grief if I spend money on myself because in their eyes I should be buying my baby nicer stuff or putting it in a college fund.”

“And the thing a lot of people who gift mom's baby stuff for their (mom's) birthday seem to not realize is... They likely wouldn't do this to a dad for his birthday and that signals to the mom they're now ‘just a mom’ and not a person,” another commented.

“I think it's generally the case in society that mothers are just mothers even on days like this ... Or did the child's father only get baby things? And don't forget … You also asked them not to give anything more,” another comment read, to which the mom replied: “I hate this attitude towards mothers. I feel like I’ve lost my personhood the moment I became a mother. I love my baby to the ends of the earth but I feel like nobody realizes I exist outside of being a mom. Dads on the other hand get rewarded for doing the bare minimum.”

One user had an interesting suggestion.

“I'm sorry, and I really want a link to your Amazon wishlist!”

Do you think everyone should be allowed to feel special on their birthdays? What do you think of this mom’s reaction to her birthday presents? Let us know, and pass this on to all the special moms.