Mom Unsure If She’s To Blame For Not Letting Uninvited Child Stay At Her Daughter’s Birthday Party

May 26, 2022 by apost team

No one ever wants to make a child feel like they are left out. It can be incredibly disheartening to see a young boy or girl look sad or upset, so most parents do everything they can to prevent this from ever happening. However, as one mom believed, sometimes sharing harsh news is needed — but no one should be surprised to receive some backlash for this happening.

A Reddit post was uploaded in June 2020 that was penned by the mom’s niece but written from the mother's point of view. The original poster (OP) explained that she is a mother of three and is aware that not all kids are invited to parties all the time. She believes that parents should take this into consideration. Sometimes it can be challenging having to adapt on the spot to welcome more kids than were anticipated, especially if there is only a set number of goodie bags and activities available and limited food to eat.

When OP decided that her 10-year-old daughter would have a small birthday party, she was faced with a somewhat difficult situation. Everything seemed to be going fine as she had come up with plenty of fun activities for the kids and budgeted well. However, when one parent was dropping off one of their kids who was invited to the party, the parent also attempted to drop off their other child who hadn’t been invited.

Standing firm, OP said that the latter child was not invited and could not stay. This caused a huge issue with the child’s parents, as well as several other parents who had been at the party. Since then, OP has wondered if she was wrong for turning the uninvited child away.

In her Reddit post, OP explained that as a mother of three, she’s attended many birthday parties her kids were invited to and has had “the misfortune of seeing that one parent who always drops their kids off and leaves without considering that not all the kids were invited.” OP explained that this behavior, in her eyes, is selfish.

She continued: “If it had been prearranged with the hosting family then sure alls (sic) well but oftentimes it’s not. Who would say no to a child? After all, it's not their fault.” OP also reasoned that since the sibling who wasn’t invited most likely doesn’t have friends at the party, there’s a good chance that he or she won’t have as much fun as the other kids. 

“Any emergency would at least come with an explanation and those parents I’m far more understanding towards,” OP said. “It’s the parent who has no regard for arrangements that gets to me.”

For her 10-year-old-daughter’s birthday, OP decided to keep the party pretty small and private. She planned a craft party where each kid was given a pre-chosen crafting pack that was paid for in advance, meaning any extra kids that showed up would not be given their own kit. “This fact was heavily emphasized to the parents and not a word of discontent was uttered,” OP explained.

However, the birthday party did not go as planned. While parent A was dropping off child A who had been invited, the parent also attempted to drop off child B who had not been invited. The parent reasoned that the kids could share a craft pack, but OP wasn’t having it.

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OP said: “When asked why child B couldn’t stay with parent A I was not giving a reason other than child B was upset they couldn’t go. I stuck to it and firmly told parent (A) that child B could not come.”

The child grew extremely upset and even threw a tantrum, and parent A said that most parents would just allow both kids to attend. OP stood her ground, though, and said that the kid couldn’t come.

“Parent A ended up taking both children home and I grit my teeth on my feelings about a child we had now paid for that wouldn’t be attending,” OP said. Another parent had seen the entire ordeal go down and told OP that she should have just let child B attend.

“But I feel teaching my children the value of your word and sticking to it is more important than sparing the feelings of a child and parent who should know better,” OP reasoned.

Fortunately for OP, many Reddit users were on her side and pointed out how unfair it was for parent A to expect OP to watch their uninvited child. Many users also said that it was actually important to say no to kids to help them better understand boundaries.

One user commented: “Trying to bring uninvited guests along is super tacky, and there are logistical issues. What if there’s no food for them? As here, there was no paid craft pack for the second child, so the pair of them would have had a bad time. The parent is entitled.”

Another user said, “They should have spoken to you first, instead of dropping a random kid on you like that as if you run a daycare.”

What would you do if you were in this parent’s situation? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family and friends to find out what they think, too.