Mom Says She's Bored By Her 9-Year-Old Daughter: 'Days Feel Really Long Sometimes'

Sep 08, 2021 by apost team

While being a parent is a wonderful thing it can also be incredibly difficult at times. From being tired often to having no time for yourself, there is a whole new experience of life that occurs once someone has children.

And while there are countless special moments that a parent has with their child, there is also a lot of time engaging with kids on their level. This can be difficult for some parents and one mother opened up about her experiences recently on a popular internet forum.

Taking to Netmums, the woman, posting as Nancy F, began her entry by stating, "this is going to sound awful so please no hate," before adding, "but I just don't know how to engage more with my 9-year-old."  Any topic about parenting can be controversial so it's understandable that the poster didn't want other users to get the wrong idea about her situation. She goes on:

"I find myself struggling to make conversation with her, and just generally being a relaxed, normal parent. I'm always worrying about things so find it hard to be in the moment and just play/goof around with her."

For an adult, there can be a lot to worry about in their lives, especially if the person is suffering from anxiety or other mental health issues. The fact that the mother is not present while she's meant to be enjoying time with her daughter is not as simple as saying that she's bored of her child, but rather there could be other factors at play.

The woman goes on:

"The days feel really long sometimes. She'll talk to me about her video games and I'll watch her dance. And we go out places. But it's often quite ... Boring?"

She ends her message and makes it clear that she has the desire to be more engaged but she simply doesn't know how:

"Any suggestions on how I can relax and just be a proper mum please :'("

People were mostly sympathetic to the mom's situation, with some offering tips on how she can be more engaged with her daughter. One person wrote:

"My son is 8 and I can really relate to this! Bring back the visits to the farm and the duck pond that we both used to love when he was little!"

The same user added:

"I often find myself nodding along to what he tells me when I’m not really that interested (in what some YouTuber did in a video or which footballer has moved to a new team) I know that sounds awful but as long as my son sees me listening and being supportive then we’re both happy."

Another person added that finding interest in your child's interests can help make things more fun for the both of you, while also being a great bonding exercise:

"My honest suggestion would be to get involved in gaming if that's what she's into. I did this with my son, we ended up going to gaming conventions together and really connected over it. ... Try, you might enjoy and she will love teaching you." 

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Meanwhile, other users let the mother know that she isn't alone and that it's in fact quite normal to feel the way she does. After all, the differences in a young child and a grown adult's interests can be huge. One person wrote:

"Parenthood is mainly boring. Kid's conversations are mainly boring. If you can find one interest that you really share with your child, you're doing well. Remember, most of the time pretending to be interested is enough."

The same user also mentioned that it's just as important for a parent to have time for themselves and that even bringing their child along while they focus on their hobbies can teach children a valuable lesson. They wrote:

"It's also worth pointing out that you don't have to entertain your child every waking hour. It's ok to take time for yourself and leave your child to play on their own, or with their friends.

"And don't neglect your own interests, even if it means taking your child along. If they get bored at your cardboard tapestry class or whatever, it teaches them a valuable lesson in patience."

Overall the answers assured the mother that parenting has its boring moments, that's a normal part of the job and that's okay. But additionally, that simply acknowledging the child's interests can be enough to make them feel listened to. The mother even responded to some comments saying that they were very helpful, which is great to see that the forum was able to give her a new perspective on the topic. 

What do you think about the mother's situation? How have you navigated the differences in interest between you and a small child before? Pass this on to any parents you know so they can read about it too.