Mom Kicks Son's Uninvited Bully Out Of His Birthday Party And People Are Divided

Oct 06, 2021 by apost team

In a since-removed Reddit post, a mother took to the platform in September 2021 to ask if she was wrong for turning away a young child from her son’s 8th birthday party. But before you grab your pitchforks and torches, it’s worth adding that there’s much more to this mother’s story. It turns out that the boy she turned away, Josh, has repeatedly bullied her son, making his life “a living hell,” according to his mother’s description. 

While it might not excuse Josh’s behavior, this bully seems to have good reason to be upset and angry. Not only did his baby sister die, but his dad and mom also separated. The original poster (OP) speculates that this is why Josh picks on her son; he’s simply jealous of him for having a stable home life and a healthy baby brother.

The entire situation is made even more complicated by the fact that the OP did not even invite Josh to her son’s birthday party. Rather, one of her son’s friends is related to Josh, and so the friend’s mother brought him along to the celebration without asking for permission.

After turning Josh away, the woman who brought him said that the OP should have “shown kindness and understanding” — along with some choice words that won’t print here. Because of this woman’s reaction, the OP took to Reddit to find out whether she was wrong to ask Josh to leave.

“My son freaked out when he saw Josh at our house and asked if he was staying. He was so relieved he wasn't,” the OP writes.

“I feel bad for the kid but feel my only loyalty is to my son.”

Before the post was deleted, most of the Reddit community was on the OP’s side, with many noting that Josh wasn’t even invited in the first place.

“For starters, it was very presumptuous of her to show up with a +1 when she was not given a +1. She also put you in a position where you needed to choose to turn away a kid who is having a hard time, or force your son to put up with his bully in his own home. Neither choice is going to be the right one and the onus is on her for forcing that on you,” the top comment read.

Other users agreed, writing that it was ultimately not the OP’s fault that someone unexpectedly brought Josh along. To make matters worse, the woman who brought Josh apparently knew about the bullying, as she and the OP were friends prior to the birthday incident.

“She knew about the bullying and brought him without asking you first knowing you would have said no. She wanted to ambush you and expected you to cave and not make a scene. You stood your ground and made sure your son was safe and enjoyed his birthday party,” a Redditor commented.

“I'm sad for Josh and his situation but it's not on you or your son to be his punching bag.”

Some Redditors said that the OP’s story spoke personally to them, especially to those who had been bullied before.

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“I was a victim of bullying. It's a rough experience. The house being the only safe place. All it would have taken is seeing one thing or something different and the bully has even more ammo to use to further torment,” a Redditor shared.​​

While the Reddit community was largely supportive of the mother, there were a few who criticized the OP. One such commenter wrote that the OP was wrong “for being petty, immature and shaming an 8 y/o boy from a shaky family situation in a very public way.”

“Do you think that is gonna help your son if he does, in fact, have a bullying problem? Maybe you should have tried disarming him with kindness instead,” the Redditor added.

Whether this mother was right or wrong to ask Josh to leave her son’s birthday party, bullying remains a serious issue.

According to the U.S. government’s StopBullying website, around 20% of students between the ages of 12 and 18 have experienced bullying across the nation. Parents should be on the lookout for symptoms of bullying, as its negative effects can endure into adulthood. 

To prepare your kids for what to do when a bully strikes, you can roleplay and practice a few responses to namecalling or other forms of teasing. Comebacks should be simple and direct without being aggressive or antagonistic, as these might just make the bully angrier. Parents.com suggests, "Leave me alone," "Back off” and "That wasn't nice."

Finally, it’s important to teach your child what to do if they witness bullying. Kids should be taught to be “upstanders” rather than bystanders, which means that they should take “positive action” when they see a bully teasing someone, according to Parents.com.

What do you think of this mother’s actions? Should she have let Josh stay, or did she make the right decision? Let us know — and be sure to get feedback from friends and family members.