Mom Excludes Stepdaughter From Family Photograph Because She's Black And Is Surprised By Backlash

Aug 30, 2021 by apost team

Blending families typically comes with challenges. Many parents have their own parenting style, but they may be forced to change this when they decide to combine their family with their partner’s family. A mother recently opened up about a struggle she was facing with her blended family and went to Reddit on Aug. 25, 2021, to find out if she had handled the situation correctly. Much to her surprise, she did not.

The mother explained that her family consisted of her three biological children as well as her husband and his 8-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. They decided to take some family photos together while on vacation that they could later use for their Christmas card. However, not everyone was invited to be in the pictures. The mother had actually asked her stepdaughter to not be in some of the photographs, which instantly hurt the little girl’s feelings.

While the situation was already bad enough, it only got worse once the 8-year-old’s father found out why she was asked to not be included in all of the family pictures: the color of her skin. The mother had explained that her parents are pretty racist and she didn’t want there to be any issues between them and her stepdaughter, but her husband was not having it.

Many Reddit users voiced their opinions in the comment section of the Reddit thread, shocking the original poster by explaining how wrong she was for excluding her stepdaughter based on the fact that she is Black. Read on to find out more about this problematic story, and what Reddit users had to say to the original poster.

At the beginning of her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that she has three children with her husband Jack: Lydia, 5; Carol, 2; and Solomon, 8 months. Jack had his daughter Enephrine, 8, from a different marriage. During their last week of summer in 2021, the family rented out a beach cottage where they took some family photos together. OP explained that most of their Christmas cards are taken while on vacation, so this was the perfect time to do just that.

She then said that there was a “problem” in the fact that while she, her husband and her biological children are white, her stepdaughter is mixed-race and looks more like her mother, who is Black. “I don’t care what race she is and love her just the same as any of my bio kids,” OP wrote. “My parents, however, are pretty racist.” Although OP didn’t speak with them much, she wanted to appease her parents and chose to not have Enephrine in some of the photographs so she could send one without the little girl to her parents and not cause any problems with that part of her family. 

The family took a few photographs all together before OP announced that Enephrine would not be included in the next one, making the little girl upset. However, Epinephrine took the family’s photograph. “We also got some ice cream and she hasn’t been upset beyond that initial moment,” OP explained. When Jack later asked OP why she didn’t want Enephrine in the photo, she reasoned that she didn’t want the little girl “to be exposed to people who could potentially emotionally hurt her.” 

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Jack was mad, and even told his daughter that she had been excluded because she was Black, resulting in both of them becoming incredibly upset with OP and her actions. However, OP has tried to defend herself. “I really wasn’t trying to hurt her in any way, I did this out of care and love,” she wrote. “But I think I could have done it in a wrong way.” Redditors agreed: OP messed up.

“Stop protecting the racists,” one commenter wrote. “If they’re racist then cut them out. By not having her in the photo, you’re telling your stepdaughter that racism is acceptable. Shame on you.” Other Reddit users had similar opinions. Another user commented, “Your parents are racist, you’re complicit in that nonsense by excluding your stepdaughter from the photo, and you’re surprised she and your husband are upset with you?” 

“OP getting miffed about her husband telling his daughter she didn’t want her in the picture because she is Black is pretty confusing to me,” another Redditor commented. “That’s… literally the reason you didn’t want her in the picture.” One Reddit user challenged OP’s intentions, and asked, “If you make accommodations to satisfy your racist parents, what does that make you?”

Despite any good intentions OP had to prevent Enephrine from receiving any backlash or harsh words from her parents, she had greatly messed up and hurt Jack and Enephrine’s feelings. Rather than try to teach her parents to be more accepting of others and call them out for their unacceptable views, OP excluded her Black stepdaughter from family photos, deeply hurting the little girl in the process.

What do you think about this mother’s intentions of excluding her stepdaughter from the family photo? Let us know, and be sure to pass this on to your family members and friends, too.