Mom Asks If She Is Wrong For Not Apologizing And Causing Daughter To Lose Friend Over A Seat-Belt

Aug 19, 2021 by apost team

Parenting is both rewarding and difficult, and most parents can attest to the fact that it is not a part-time job. It requires a person to dedicate their life to nurturing and supporting a child emotionally and financially, sometimes even after the child is an adult. Being a parent is a lifelong job, and often parents have to take care of not just their children but also their friends. 

A child's friends become a big part of their lives as they grow up, and often parents have to make sure that all kids under their care, even if it's for a short time, are safe and healthy. One parent faced a dilemma while she was with her daughter and her friend Danielle after an issue of safety came up. The ensuing argument resulted in her daughter losing Danielle as her friend and being mad at the mother for standing her ground. 

On the Reddit sub "AITA," one mother, the original poster (OP), asked other users of the site if she was wrong to demand that her Danielle put on her seat belt. This seems like a very reasonable request, but it led to a major dispute. Danielle's mother, Danielle and the daughter all thought that the OP was in the wrong.

However, when she turned to the internet for opinions, there was almost unanimous agreement that what the OP had done was absolutely right, and she was doing everything with the children's safety in mind. Read on to know more about what happened between the OP and her child's friend. 

In the Reddit post by the OP, she wrote, "My daughter is 12 years old. She’s always struggled making friends but last school year met “Danielle”. To me, Danielle was a little bossy and cared a lot about popularity, obsessed with making my daughter popular but I figured she was just trying to help. And she was nice." 

She further explained that once schools reopened, Danielle's mother and she made a decision together to carpool with their kids; Danielle's mother would drop the children while the OP would pick them up. 

She continued, "At first it went well and the girls loved it. But one constant struggle was getting Danielle and her brother to wear their seat belts. This is a no argument situation for me, kid or adult, you’re wearing a seatbelt," adding, "The kids constantly complained and would take them off. I talked to their mom and she kind of shrugged it off. Eventually, they got a little better about not arguing about it but still wouldn’t do it on their own." 

However, one particular day, Danielle and her brother proved to be extra difficult. After she parked at a post office and came back in a few minutes, she noticed Danielle and her brother had taken off their belt again. 

"I told them to put them back on. They refused. I said I wasn’t driving until they put them on. They still refused. I called their mother, she didn’t answer. Called their father, he didn’t answer. Finally, I just followed through on my threat and sat there until they finally put them on. It took 45 minutes. The whole time, my daughter kept begging me to just drive but I refused." 

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The OP continued, "Back at home, their mom calls me, mad. She said I made her son late for a soccer game. I said he wouldn’t have been if he just wore his seatbelt. She told me I’m not their mom, so I don’t get to control them. I said if they’re in my car, they follow my rules. It all ended with us agreeing to stop the carpool arrangement, which I was fine with. We finished the school year driving our own kids to school." 

Even after all of this, Danielle's mother expected that OP apologizes, to which OP said, "I refuse. I did nothing wrong." However, the OP's daughter continues to be angry with her, while her husband believes that she should apologize "so our daughter can keep her friend." 

Most people were on the OP's side after she told the story, though. The top comment states,

"I think I would die on this mountain too. What kind of people set an example for their children that 1) its ok to not wear a seat belt and 2) its ok to argue with another adult like that for 45 minutes. NTA. Your daughter might not realize it now, but you may have helped her dodge a bullet."

Another commenter agreed and said, "In fact Danielle’s mother owes you an apology for raising 2 children that were blatantly disrespectful. Seat belts save lives. You did the right thing." 

Based on the rest of the comments, it looks like most people believe that the OP was in the right. 

Do you agree with what the mother did in this situation? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to ask your friend about their opinion about this as well.