MIL Wants Couple To Sleepover With Her & Her Son Wants Wife To Be The One To Say 'No'

Oct 02, 2021 by apost team

We all remember sleepovers from childhood, but what if someone was trying to get you to sleepover for long periods of time as an adult? And what if that person was your mother-in-law? This is the nightmare situation one woman has found herself in after she and her husband moved closer to his mother, which is still a three-hour drive away. The mother-in-law asks that the couple sleepover at her house for weeks at a time, and several times a year.

The wife has experienced as much as she can take, especially because she doesn’t sleep well in her husband’s childhood bedroom, and now she is ready to end it. However, her husband asked her to be the one to tell the mother-in-law no. The wife doesn’t seem to mind this too much, but she has no idea how to go about actually saying it without causing drama or hurting the mother-in-law’s feelings.

The woman posted this story to Reddit to get some advice on how to sugarcoat her words to her mother-in-law. She explained that her husband’s father passed away tragically and now his mother takes advantage of that trauma to get him to stay over more often. The wife said she is done leaving her home for weeks at a time and would rather stay in a hotel instead.

Users on Reddit chimed in on what the wife should do in this situation. The majority of commenters agreed that the husband should be the one to speak to the mother-in-law, not his wife. They also suggested the wife not sugarcoat her words and instead be honest. Keep reading to see more reactions to this outrageous mother-in-law.

The wife started off her Reddit post by explaining: “MIL wants us to sleep over for weeks at a time, several times a year. If Dear Husband doesn't say yes instantly, she'll remind him how she could die any second. His dad died terribly years ago, and she takes advantage of his trauma.” This manipulation is just one of the reasons why the wife is over this situation.

The mother-in-law also still treats her son like a child. The wife continued, “A couple examples out of 100 why I hate sleeping over: we literally have to ask permission if we want to go out and I never get good sleep. We sleep in my DH's dusty old shrine of a bedroom that hasn't been touched since he moved out for university.”

The son’s other family members only make the situation worse. “His older siblings never sleepover, and his family too will ask DH, ‘when are you coming to stay with mom again,’ before we even have a chance to leave. DH's child nickname was ‘Walking Stick,’ because they tasked him to take care of them until they die,” the wife shared.

The woman is afraid that if she speaks up about hating the sleepovers, the mother-in-law and the rest of the family will see her as the enemy. She wrote, “Long rant aside, We both come from different countries. In his country, parents are to be deeply respected. His family are also wonderful people, and I don't want to offend them, be rude, or create any tension. I really want to fit in.”

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The woman got to the root of the issue by writing: “My husband asked me to break the news to his mother. Culturally speaking, saying no to mum isn't coded in his brain. That's fine. I just don't know how to string my words together to create a convincing reason to his family and mother why I'm done with sleepovers and why I'd rather spend money staying at a hotel next door. I really need to choose my words carefully because she will play the victim card in front of everyone. Any suggestions?”

Hundreds of users commented their advice on the post, offering some different perspectives. One person wrote, “I would never ask my partner to do something with my side of the family that they didn't want to do. If you don't want to go, then don't go. Your husband can make his own choice and y'all can go from there. In addition, it shouldn't be you who is talking to the MIL about this. Your husband needs to put on a big boy face and tell his Mom.”

Another commenter added, “Personally, I would just wait until the next time it comes up, and tell your husband you'll be staying home. She can ask you if she needs more information. I don't feel it needs to be this huge explanation, because I think that will escalate the situation.”

They continued, “Just stop going! He can't force you, and you deserve some space. I would lose my mind if I had to spend a week with anyone that frequently, besides my husband and bestie. Then maybe the next time he has plans to go, you book a hotel and it's simply ‘I love having my own space and don't sleep well in hubby's old bedroom.’"

What advice would you give this woman? Is the mother-in-law asking too much? Let us know what you think and feel free to send this along to your friends and family.