Master Your Emotions With These 2 Simple Techniques

Dec 14, 2018 by apost team

Words are powerful forces for either good or bad in our lives. They help us to name, define, and categorize abstract concepts so we can get a better handle on them. According to neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett, our emotions aren't at the core of defining who we are as people. Instead, she claims that they're tied to our survival instincts.

Her research has led her to the conclusion that our innate drive to survive and thrive leads us to try and make predictions about future conditions in our lives. Based on those predictions, we react by feeling certain emotions. This phenomenon also leads us to pick up on and interpret the emotional expressions of others.

Barrett suggests that by teaching our brains to re-name our emotions more carefully, we can start to view and react to our feelings in a more objective way. We can then, in turn, decide what course of action to take based on this detailed emotional self-evaluation. There are times when a response is warranted, and other times when we ought to just recognize our emotions for what they truly are and do nothing while waiting for our feelings to return to a state of normalcy.

Here's her way of laying out the technique. She uses the example that rather than lumping our emotions into broad categories, such as "feeling awesome" or "feeling crappy," we should learn to process and categorize them with greater precision. Instead of using a word like "awesome," which isn't really very precise, you could decide between a whole range of positive emotions, such as blissful, inspired, hopeful, joyful, relaxed, or thrilled.

The same would be true for the "crappy" emotions. What kind of "crappy" feelings are you really experiencing? Are they feelings of resentment, dread, anger, irritation, embarrassment, guilt, or gloom? These are just a few of a whole host of choices that would be considered negative emotions.

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You may not yet understand the importance of nailing down the details of how you feel. Barrett goes on to explain that it ties in with your brain's survival instinct and predictive mechanism. If you can clearly define, "I feel crappy because I'm resentful of the way my coworker treated me at the office," you'll be able to come to a more concrete plan of action.

Predicting constructive ways to deal with your emotions is linked to figuring out the logic behind why you feel the way you do. Simply noting, "I feel crappy today," doesn't help your brain move from emotion to prediction, action, and resolution of the problem that could be contributing to your negative feelings.

Though you may be skeptical at first about the value of this practice, Barrett contends that learning to define your emotions more clearly really can make a big difference in your overall well-being. In fact, she claims that her research demonstrates that individuals who do get in better touch with their emotions tend to make fewer visits to a doctor's office, don't take medicine as often, and aren't in the hospital as often as those who aren't.

She calls this technique "emotional granularity." It's on par with becoming an emotional specialist. These are people who don't just sit back and let their feelings carry them here, there, and everywhere. Instead, they learn to make a habit of responding in an appropriate way emotionally to different life situations. This would be in contrast to, for example, a young toddler who has no clear concept of controlling or defining their emotions.

Some adults never acquire these crucial skills, and they go through life not really understanding what they're feeling, why they feel the way they do, or what to do about it. It's not a very pleasant way to live. Instead, Barrett claims that we should all be growing in our emotional intelligence throughout the course of our lives. This involves learning how to precisely gauge and define our emotions to greater and greater degrees.

This is where building up your emotional vocabulary comes into play. The more words you learn to explain and define your emotions, the better you'll be able to clearly identify what you're feeling and why. Simply having a rich storehouse of words in your mind when it comes to the category of emotions is a valuable way to drive more accurate predictions. Those predictions, in turn, tell your body how to respond to the needs identified by your precisely-defined emotions.

The results of heightened emotional granularity are powerful indeed. As noted above, they could mean fewer trips to the doctor, less hospitalization, and less need for medications. It's a way of helping you help yourself develop better emotional health. Since your emotional health impacts your social and physical well-being, it makes sense that the two would overlap in terms of impacting your need for medical care.

Those who become masters at the concept of emotional granularity can even start to come up with their own unique terms and ideas when it comes to defining their emotions. Novelist Jeffrey Eugenides uses some funny but relatable sentences to describe certain emotions in his novel Middlesex. For example, getting a room at a hotel that includes a minibar would describe an excitement that includes a pleasant, unexpected surprise.

Besides medical benefits, there are other advantages to developing greater emotional granularity. These would include increased satisfaction due to an increased ability to regulate emotions. It can even cut down on your desire to turn to destructive habits, like drinking too much or overreacting to small provocations.

These techniques have helped those diagnosed with schizophrenia to enjoy a higher quality of relationships with their friends and family members. Improved social reactions to a wide range of situations have also been reported by people with heightened emotional granularity.

How do you acquire the vital skills involved with emotional granularity? You do so by beefing up your vocabulary, especially as it relates to the emotional realm. Reading books that are outside your normal range of interest is a good place to start. Next time you start feeling a certain emotion, make a conscious effort to precisely label how you're feeling with a precise word such as "elated" instead of "happy," or "forlorn," instead of "sad."

You can even delve into descriptive emotional terms from other cultures and languages. Greek, for example, has numerous words for the concept of "love." Adding these words to your vocabulary can help you figure out just how you're feeling so you'll be more equipped to respond to your emotions appropriately. It can also give you tools that can aid your ability to empathize with those around you.

So, next time you feel a strong emotion coming on, give this technique a try. Or, as a way of practicing, imagine that you're in certain situations that would cause strong emotions, such as loss, disappointment, thrill, or rapture. Explain how you would feel and react in those situations in the most precise terms you possibly can.

The more you practice defining your emotions, the more you'll be prepared for whatever circumstances and feelings lie ahead of you in life. It's also a great skill to hone in order to grow in your ability to navigate interpersonal conflicts.

What about you? Do you think you're skilled at recognizing and accurately defining your emotions? If not, do you agree that growth in this area could benefit you? If you're already skilled in this area, what words of advice can you give to those who need to further develop this vital life skill?

We'd love to read your reactions to this fascinating research in the comments! If you found these concepts helpful, pass them along to others who could also benefit from learning more about emotional granularity.