Man Refuses To Move From Bench After Woman Says He Made Her Uncomfortable, Asks If He’s In The Wrong

Sep 09, 2021 by apost team

As most women know, being alone at night, particularly somewhere like an empty train station can be enough to put you on edge. After all, as NPR revealed, over 81 percent of women have experienced sexual harassment in their lives. When you add a stranger sitting very close to the mix, it can be enough to make things even more unsettling. 

That's what happened one night when a 24-year-old man finished his eight-hour shift packing and shipping items and arrived at the train station around 11 pm, close to midnight. Familiar with the station, the man knew there is only one bench and he sat down at the end of it, while a woman who he believed to be in her 30s was already sitting at the other end. 

Despite not making any attempt to talk to her, the woman asked the man if he would "mind going somewhere else." Tired from his shift and knowing there were no other seats on the platform, the man asked her why. She explained that since they were the only people on the platform, she wasn't comfortable with him being so close to her. 

The man responded that he's incredibly tired and won't bother her and continued minding his own business. But the woman, not satisfied with that, got up, cussed at him and went and stood further away. Perplexed whether he did the wrong thing in the situation, the man took his story to Reddit's "Am I the A**hole" subreddit to ask users online, "AITA for refusing to move from a bench at night cause this lady was uncomfortable?"

When recalling the story, the man explains that he made no attempt at interacting with the woman, while she kept looking at him until she asked him if he minded moving. After explaining that he was tired and wouldn't bother her, he writes:

"Then she says would it really kill me if I moved somewhere else since the train gonna be there in 15 mins and I could sit then. This lady not letting it go, I promise I won’t bother her. Like didn’t even tell her anything or did something the first minutes I sat down by her. This time she get really mad and asks me to move."

Now "kinda annoyed" himself, the man tells her sorry but no and that she doesn't have to worry about him. He then puts his headphones back on and looks at his phone, minding his own business. After a few minutes, the woman gets up and walks to the other side of the platform but not before muttering "f***ing jacka**" to the man, who stated that he didn't realize she'd get that mad at him for not wanting to move.

He adds that he understands why ladies would be uncomfortable at a train station late at night but he "wasn't even paying attention to her at all." He also adds that they both had on masks and had enough social distance between them while they were seated.

Reddit users mostly sided with the man, stating that if she was uncomfortable why did she engage him in conversation in the first place and that she could have easily gotten up and walked off without saying anything. 

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One person wrote:

"Absolutely not the a**hole. If she didn't feel safe, she shouldn't have even spoken to you. She should simply have walked away without a backward glance and that would have been it."

Another reiterated:

"If you feel unsafe, you beat feet. You don't ask the person for favors. She didn't feel unsafe she felt entitled."

Meanwhile, one female commenter made a good point that the woman's continued attempts to make the man move might have even escalated the potential danger if it were someone more aggressive. They wrote:

"Female here. I probably would be on my guard but I would have just moved away. If you are worried about your safety, would making the guy move really make you feel safer? Or are you just poking the bear?"

Others replied, with one saying: 

"100% this. I feel like if she was afraid, and if he really had any intention in harming her, asking him to move should be the last thing you do."

Meanwhile, another added:

"Poking the bear, exactly. Her saying "F***ing jacka**" could have quite literally been the last nail in her coffin. If a strange dude reacts negatively to that line, what will she do to defend herself?"

Despite the general consensus of the Reddit thread siding in favor with the user, when you consider the statistics regarding sexual harassment, it isn't hard to see why women do feel unsafe in some public situations. However, the post did bring about a good discussion of what not to do if you do feel unsafe in a similar situation.

What do you think about this situation, was the man in the wrong? If you've ever been in a similar situation how did you react to feeling uncomfortable? Pass this on so others can be informed too.