Man Causes Drama By Refusing To Cut His Hair For Sister’s Wedding Due To ‘Rules Her Fiancé Imposed’

Dec 05, 2022 by apost team

While it's common for couples to have some rules set in place at their weddings, some are definitely more strict than others when it comes to enforcing them. A lot of couples decide to have child-free weddings or tell people to abide by a certain dress code. But some people take the last rule a little too far, by trying to enforce more permanent changes in their guests' appearances.

That was the case for one couple, who, for religious reasons, wanted to enforce a no long hair or facial hair rule for men. One man found that despite being the brother of the bride, he was still expected to conform. That didn't go down well with him and after refusing to cut his shoulder-length hair, he and his sister fought over the matter. Worried about whether he was in the wrong in the situation, the man wrote to Reddit's "AITA" forum to get other people's opinions.

The man explained his sister's wedding was a mere week and a half away and the lead-up had caused family drama. He explained his sister and their parents "are kinda conservative but nothing too much," however her fiancé is "evangelical and (really) religious." The man explained:

"We never got along well and had a lot of discussions, he (really) disagree with a lot of me and try to change me, like for (example) my bissexuality, political views, lack of religion in my life etc."

He explained, "the problem" came about when his sister announced her wedding: 

"I was happy for her despite my problems with her fiancé, but when I received the invitation to the (ceremony) came a lot of rules like no drinking, no drugs, and men should cut the hair short and have no facial hair, (apparently these) are evangelical rules her fiance imposed."

The rules rubbed the man the wrong way, as he explained he has long hair for a man that's currently shoulder length, after having grown it out for nearly four years. So naturally, the man got in touch with his sister:

"I immediately contacted my sister and said that I could do the other rules but I wouldn't cut my hair I (have) been styling for four years over one day for religious beliefs are not even mine."

Unhappy with that, the sister tried to convince him to do it and told him "men shouldn't even care about their hair that much" and "that as her brother and a(n) important person in the wedding I would be embarrassing them with my hair and that I should leave this rebellious (phase) behind especially if I wanted a better job (currently a school teacher and loving my job lmao)."

Unfortunately, the siblings "fought a lot over the week about it." The man told his sister, "if she did not want me as myself I simply wouldn't go," to which the sister took back his invitation since he wouldn't cut his hair.

But four days later "she texted me saying I was still invited, apparently my parents pressured her to make an exception for me because she would regret not having me there (I never asked for that they did it on their own)." However, this resulted in both sides calling him an "a****** for creating all this drama" and his inability to concede. His parents agree with his sister and her fiance "but (they) think me not going would be worse." 

People were overwhelmingly on the man's side. One person wrote:

"Your future brother-in-law can impose whatever religious disciplines he likes on himself. He doesn't get to impose those on anyone else."

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Another person added:

"The idea that someone would expect guests at their wedding to cut their hair differently or shave if they have a beard is nuts. Clean? Yes. Styled? Yes. Cut and shaved is totally different."

Others echoed this sentiment:

"You are you and she knew that when she invited you. The haircut request is not reasonable. ... They are not practicing any tolerance for people beyond their strict beliefs."

But one user warned this was only a sign of things to come:

"This is only the beginning of occasions where they will try to impose their beliefs on your family. If they're fundamentalist to the extent that they are even against facial hair, I guarantee you that there are even more rules and beliefs you'll find out about later."

The man posted an update and things had only gotten worse, as his "aunt has two sons with longer hair who would not attend (because) of the rules." Once she heard about the situation with him as an exception she got really "mad" at the sister and called her a "hypocrite" and said she "manipulated a lot of things" by allowing only the man to avoid the "hair rule" while her sons didn't have "the same rights." This led the family to start fighting with "some supporting my aunt and me and saying the rules and control are (too) much."

The aunt's family and some other relatives "cut contact and will not attend anymore," which "was a shock" to the sister "as she already had lost two bridesmaids and 1 ring bearer (because of) the rules for women."

Following that, the sister was "depressed" over the whole situation and the man added the ceremony "feels like it will be a fiasco." To top everything off, he tested positive for COVID and wasn't able to attend the wedding for health reasons anyway, after all.

Who do you think is in the wrong in this situation? Have you ever encountered a family drama like this before? Let us know, then pass this on so others can weigh in with their thoughts.