Man ‘Bitter’ About Having Another Daughter Leaves Gender Reveal Party

Aug 04, 2022 by apost team

You’d be hard pressed to find anybody out there who doesn’t believe that babies are a gift, whether a girl or a boy. And in 2022, it would be even harder to find people entrenched in such obsolete and sexist assumptions about gender that it would pit them against their own children. But fear not – Reddit has found him.

One man took to the r/AITA board to relate his experience when his wife was pregnant with baby No. 2. He said in the July 2020 post, “My wife (34) and I (33) are having our second child. We have a daughter (5). She’s been grouchy her whole pregnancy so her sister offered to plan her a gender reveal party.”

He said the plan was “all the food and decorations would be blue or pink and in the end, we’d get one of those special sparklers that would light up in either blue or pink to reveal the gender.”

He added that they had asked the wife’s doctor to write the baby’s gender on a piece of paper, which they would not look at, and hand it over to the wife’s sister during the party. She would then arrange for the right sparklers to go off. Solid plan so far.

Come the day of the party, the sparklers lighted up pink, indicating they would soon be blessed with another baby girl. While the odds were undoubtedly 50-50, it turns out the father had not prepared himself very well as he could not hide his dismay at the reveal. 

“I don’t know what came over me but all I felt at that moment was very bitter disappointment,” he wrote.

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/AsiaVision

He explained his distress as such: “To be honest, all I was hoping for baby #2 is to be able to toss a ball around with him and coach little league. Or watch him go on Boy Scouts camping trips.”

He added that he had had enough of the feminine energy in his household, even from a 5-year-old girl.

“I know my daughter is only 5, but I’ve already started to deal with the dramas of being a father of a girl and the thought of having to double up now on the neuroticism was harrowing. I grew up in a house with three older boys and one younger sister and I can’t imagine seeing myself be outnumbered.”

While it might still be possible to forgive him for the initial shock, what happened next was nothing short of inappropriate.

He left his own unborn child’s gender reveal party.

“My wife grabbed my arm as people were approaching us to say their congratulations and said I needed to look happier. At that moment I just snapped. I shook my head and walked out to my car (we came separately) and drove to my sister’s (21F) house.”

He defended his actions by saying he felt he needed time to process his feelings about the announcement.

“I felt like that accusation was unfair and that I just needed some time alone. I didn’t ask to be flabbergasted – it just happened. And I don’t think it’s fair that they would have demanded I smile and nod for the next couple of hours.”

After relating his story on Reddit, close to about 0% of users supported his actions.

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For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/DjelicS

Many called the man out for his “misogynistic” and “sexist” views.

“No one is stopping you from tossing a ball with your daughter, or from camping with them, or encouraging them to participate in sports. You are the one stopping them from this,” one user wrote.

“The ‘neuroticism’ you're experiencing from your 5-year-old? Are you kidding? Get over yourself. As hard as your life is being a girl dad, being an actual girl is much harder. Mostly due to men like you. You’re afraid of being outnumbered? Maybe try learning to respect women and girls so you don’t have to be afraid of them,” another user posted.

“Hoping for a boy is one thing. Literally walking out on your wife for a gender reveal party is another. You were extremely unsupportive and if you’re that upset that you're having another daughter, then you shouldn't have had another child in the first place. Disgusting.”

Many urged the man to change his ways for the sake of his wife and daughters.

“For your daughter’s sake, I really hope you learn to view them as equally as you would a son. I feel horrible for these poor little girls.”

“You are blessed beyond measure to be having another daughter – get over yourself and step up to be the parent both of these girls deserve.”

“While it’s nice to have plans and expectations, just learn to accept them as their own individuals. I just hope that you won’t give your girls a hard time imposing all these expectations on them,” another commented.

We, too, hope that this dad will get his head out of the 1950s and realize how blessed he is to have two daughters. If not, then the more than 1,900 seething comments on Reddit could help him see that.

For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/oksana_nazarchuk

What do you think of the father’s reaction at the gender reveal party? Do you think he had a right to be disappointed at not having a son? Let us know and pass this on to family and friends.

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