Man Believes His 14-Year-Old Son Requires No Privacy, Takes Away His Bedroom Door

Dec 23, 2021 by apost team

When it comes to raising children, every parent has their own method. Some choose to be a bit more on the strict side and implement plenty of rules to help keep their kids in line while raising them to understand morals and values. Others have a softer approach where the parent is almost like an older friend to their children, and help them to understand how to navigate life through this means.

A woman and her husband have recently found that they had two very different parenting styles for raising their 14-year-old son, and it was really coming to a head in their household. While the woman explained that she was all for her son getting to have some freedom and some privacy, her husband was on the completely opposite side. 

He wouldn’t let his son have a door on his bedroom door frame, stripping the teen of any privacy he could have hoped to have. This was how the husband was raised, so he stayed persistent on making sure his own child was raised the same and insisted that the teen was too young for privacy.

This didn’t bode well with the woman, so she decided to do something about it and had a door installed when no one else was home. While her 14-year-old son was ecstatic after seeing the door, the husband was furious. Since then, there has been a lot of tension between the woman and her husband. She went to Reddit on Dec. 18, 2021, to ask users for any advice they had on how to remedy the situation.

In her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) explained that she is 35 years old while her husband is 46 years old. Together they have a 14-year-old son. OP’s husband was very persistent in making sure that their son couldn’t conceal his room while he was still living under their roof, and therefore didn’t have a door to his bedroom.

OP explained, “This has been one of the things straining our relationship lately, as I think that a teen should have some freedom, maybe not completely out of our sight, but you know a door at the least, but my husband keeps insisting on him having almost no freedom at all.”

Even though OP tried to get her husband to reconsider, he just shut her down. Her husband’s reasons were, “this is what it’ll take him to be a man” and “this is how I was raised,” insisting that the 14-year-old was too young for privacy and didn’t need a door until he was 18 years old.

OP continued, “So both my son’s birthday and Christmas are coming up, and I decided that he should finally have a door to his room. So, I went behind my husband’s back and bought a new door and hurried it to be installed while they were both away.” While her son was over the moon upon seeing his new door to his bedroom, her husband was definitely not as thrilled, and was incredibly upset with his wife for going behind his back and against his wishes.

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Since then, OP and her husband have been struggling to mend their relationship. “He told me that is not the kind of decision that I should be making by myself and that I disrespected his authority, and now he is refusing to even sleep in the same bed as me,” OP explained. “I’ve been wondering if this should have been a conversation rather than me disrespecting his wishes.” 

OP asked Redditors if she was wrong for getting her son a door, and for any advice they had to offer. Fortunately for her, Reddit users were on her side, and called out the husband for his very controlling behavior toward both her and their son. One user commented, “Your husband is SUPER controlling. Scary frankly.” Another asked, “What the hell is wrong with your husband?”

More users pointed out how important it was for the 14-year-old to have his own privacy and freedom, and asked OP why her husband was acting in such an authoritative manner. One user commented, “The kid deserved privacy. What does ‘until he’s 18’ actually mean? Is your husband insinuating that he’ll re-hinge the door on your son’s 18th birthday or is he expecting the kid to leave? Either way, your husband has serious issues.”

Another user said, “Your husband was the one who made the decision to not let him have a door, without your input, and now you’ve shown him what that’s like and he doesn’t like it. My question is why have you stayed so long with a man who treats your son this way?”

Do you agree with this woman’s actions to help her teenage son have more privacy? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family members and friends, too.