Man Asks If He's The Jerk For Telling His Scared Pregnant Wife That His Mom Had No Issues Delivering 10-Pound Babies
Jul 26, 2021 by apost team
Having a baby can be one of the most exciting and terrifying experiences a woman can go through. While giving birth is known to be a pretty painful experience, there is a great reward that comes from so many hours filled with pain. There are a few different ways one can give birth, all of which come with their own set of potential risks and complications, making the experience a pretty scary one. Luckily, many licensed medical professionals are there to help make the process as smooth and safe as possible for both the mother and the baby.
Having a baby can be stressful, especially with so many visits to the doctor's office with the hopes that everything is perfectly fine with the baby. Most new parents have concerns about welcoming their child into the world, and they typically turn to books, blogs and their own friends and family for advice. Most of the time, the soon-to-be parents reach out to others themselves when they are in need of advice, as unsolicited advice can sometimes feel overwhelming or demeaning.
A dad-to-be on Reddit wondered in a 2020 post if he was in the wrong for telling his pregnant wife that she shouldn’t be afraid or upset about having a larger-sized baby. He had been a pretty big baby himself, along with his brothers, and had never heard anything from his mother expressing her concern about what it was like to give birth to the three of them. Many Reddit users have since come to the wife’s defense, reminding the dad-to-be that he wasn’t right to tell his wife how she should feel about her first time giving birth.
The Risks Of Having A Large Baby
In August 2020, a soon-to-be-father wrote a post on Reddit describing his wife’s latest ultrasound and the emotional conversation that followed thereafter. After finding out that their baby had measured over eight pounds during the wife’s 36th week of pregnancy, the doctor told the wife to expect to have a 10-pound baby, according to the man’s Reddit post. Understandably, the mom-to-be became extremely worried and upset after hearing the news, as she was concerned about having to deliver such a large baby naturally. Alternatively, she was worried that she might have to prepare for the surgery involved with a cesarean section.
The dad-to-be wrote, “She has been upset about it for days and I told her that I thought she was worrying way too much since my mother gave birth to me and my two brothers with no issue and we all weighed over nine pounds. She even did it naturally.” His wife immediately “had a breakdown” following this comment and let her husband know just how unsupportive he was for refusing to acknowledge her feelings and concerns.
“Those scans from what I have read aren’t even that accurate, so it’s not worth getting upset over when they could be wrong and even if they aren’t there's nothing that can be done about it,” the original poster explained. “The baby is going to grow as much as it grows.” According to UT Southwestern Medical Center, an ultrasound’s predictive accuracy is typically 15% to 20% off for nine-pound babies, as it measures the fetal weight but not the exact density.
Reddit Users Disagree With The Dad-To-Be
OP then suggested that his wife talk to his mother about her own birthing experience to help reassure the expectant mother, but the wife was still upset. “I was only trying to help her and stop her from worrying, and the best way to do that, I thought, was by pointing out my mom’s experience with big babies,” he wrote. The dad-to-be later edited his post to explain that his mother was smaller than his wife, which is why he thought his wife would feel more comfortable talking to her about delivering such a large baby.
UT Southwestern Medical Center reported that there are certain health and history factors that put mothers at an increased risk for having a larger baby, which includes those who have had large babies in the past. “The trend is for successive babies to get bigger, not smaller, so this is something we would take into consideration,” the medical center explained.
Reddit users were not happy with the man’s actions toward his wife and the way he disregarded her feelings. “Did this guy just mansplain that it’s no big deal to push something weighing 10 pounds out of your body?” one user wrote. Another explained, “Women can have lifelong health issues after pregnancy and childbirth.”
Some users also chimed in with their own advice on how they would have handled the situation themselves. “Alternative way OP could’ve phrased himself: My mom also had to give birth to huge babies, would you like to talk to her about it? She might be able to answer some of your questions,” one user commented.
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