Man Asks If He Is Wrong For Not Giving Up 'Man Cave' To Accommodate His Mother-In-Law

Oct 22, 2021 by apost team

Everyone likes to have their own personal space to go to for downtime or just to spend some time alone. It’s good to take some time to either relax or have some fun and unwind. Whether it be a quaint office in your home, your bedroom, or a finished basement decked out with plenty of games, it’s important to have somewhere to go to get away from any problems you may be stressing about.

A Reddit user really enjoyed the man cave that he had spent years putting together and perfecting. He is currently married with two kids and had been working on the man cave since before he even met his wife. It means a lot to the original poster (OP) to have a place in the home that is specifically for him and to have that place to unwind and recharge.

However, his wife’s side of the family was, unfortunately, going through some difficult times. Her father had recently passed away, leaving her mother to feel very lonely, so she invited her to come to live at their house. OP was hesitant but eventually gave in until he learned what it would cost him.

They didn’t have any spare rooms, so they needed to convert one into a bedroom for OP’s mother-in-law. His wife thought his man cave would be the perfect place. However, OP was not having it, and now the two are continuously fighting about what they should do. He went to Reddit on Oct. 7, 2021, to ask users for advice.

Starting off his Reddit post, OP asked, “Am I the a**h*** for not giving up my ‘man cave’ to accommodate my mother-in-law?” He and his wife got married four years ago. She already had two kids from a previous relationship, ages 8 and 10. OP inherited his parents’ house about 10 years ago after they died, and since his wife and her kids were living in an apartment, he thought it would be best if they all moved into his house. “The kids now have their own rooms, there’s a yard for them to play in, we got a dog, it’s been really nice,” OP said.

OP’s wife’s family started going through some tough times about a year ago after her father died. “It’s been hard on a lot of her family members, but especially her mom,” OP explained. His wife brought up the idea of having her mother move in so she wouldn’t be alone anymore, but OP was hesitant. He continued, “After a lot of discussion and pressure from my wife, I finally opened up to the idea, but there are still roadblocks.”

The biggest issue was that they didn’t have a spare room for his mother-in-law. OP’s wife thought it would be a good idea to turn the basement into a suite for her, but OP had spent the last decade renovating the basement into the perfect man cave decked out with a bar, pool table, poker table and big screen TV. He had been working on it since before he even met his wife, so he wasn’t willing to give it up. 

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OP suggested that the kids start sharing a room so his mother-in-law can use the other one. His wife’s rebuttal was that the kids have gotten used to having their own spaces so it wasn’t fair to make them give that up. OP said, “I asked her why it’s OK for me to have to give up my space, but not anyone else.” OP felt like he was getting the short straw in the situation.

His wife called him selfish and stubborn, but OP didn’t want to give up his space. They have been fighting about it for weeks and their relationship is suffering, so OP turned to Redditors for advice. Most of them agreed that OP was right to want to keep his personal space and suggested that he tell his wife that he no longer wants his mother-in-law to move in.

One user commented that she would not want the mother-in-law moving in if she was in this situation. She explained, “You don’t want to give up your space… wife doesn’t want kids to share rooms. The answer is obvious: MIL should not move in.”

Another user agreed, saying, “MIL should not move in, especially considering that just the possibility of that is already causing so much conflict. OP, tell your wife you have made enough changes and adjustments in your living space already, and you have changed your mind about her mother moving in.” The user continued, “She is the one who is being selfish for expecting you to just roll over and do whatever she wants for her kids and her mother, without any consideration of your own peace of mind and comfort.”

Do you think the husband should get to keep his man cave? Should his mother-in-law move in? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your family members and friends, too.