Lawyer Stirs Online Debate For Suggesting More Mothers Use Their Last Names For Their Children

Sep 07, 2023 by apost team

In most cultures, the family names of children were taken from their biological fathers. Although it is the mother who carries their children for 9 months, the privilege of passing on their family names is taken from their biological father. 

Last names, surnames, or family names are important aspects of the individuality and identity of a person. Not only would it help people to distinguish one person from another, but it also carries the idea of heritage, ancestry, lineage, cultural significance, and even socio-economical identity in some places. 

Matrilineal naming or inheriting the mother’s surname instead of the traditional father’s surname has been prevalent in Asia and some parts of Europe. Usually, a mother’s last name is used by the children, in some cultures, when the mother is not wed to her husband.

A conversation around this topic emerged online on Aug. 10, 2023, when a lawyer proposed doing such a thing in the United States. 

“A message to pregnant women — please give the baby your surname,” Dr. Charlotte Proudman suggested. You carried a baby for 9 months, gave birth, and will be responsible for that child for the rest of your life. When you’re registering the baby ask yourself: why is the father’s surname more important than yours?”

Ideally, the idea of having your surname be used by your children at all times seemed to be a good thing – especially for some single parents who want to disassociate from the biological fathers of their child. 

However, the reception to Proudman’s suggestions stirred debate among her followers and other people online. 

One user who responded to Proudman’s suggestion of having their children use the mother’s surname instead of the father’s pointed out that it was “to make the father feel responsible for the child.”

Some people followed this train of thought, as someone said: “So no more child support then? Seems fair since your assertion implies the man is not important or responsible.” 

Other users even debunked the logic of changing the traditional surname. Some emphasized that wives are given the chance after marriage which surname to adopt. If she adopts her husband’s last name, then technically, her surname would also be her husband’s.

“Maybe give the child the FAMILY SURNAME, whatever that may be as decided by both parties during marriage. If not married, the mother's surname should be the default. If married, then whatever arrangement was decided between them: the husband's, the wife's, or a combo of both,” a user suggested. 

The majority of the posts also reiterated that it would be a battle of the children’s grandfathers as it was their surname in contention. 

“Either you give your child the last name of your father or the last name of his father.... but either way, the last name will come from a male relative. This is not the win against the patriarchy you think it is,” someone said.

A user countered these types of arguments by saying that “everyone inherits their surname,” implying that the point is for women to freely use their surnames for their children, regardless of whether they inherited it from their father or not. Proudman lauded the post and asked women to share the message and for men to understand the point.

apost.com

Do you think women’s surnames should be used on their children? Do you agree or disagree with Dr. Charlotte Proudman’s suggestion? Would you let your children use their mother's last name instead of their father's? Let us know, and pass this on to your family and friends to know what they think!