It Was Hard For Cher When Her Child Came Out As Transgender — She Lost A Daughter But Gained A Son

Jun 30, 2021 by apost team

Cher has been an icon for the majority of her life, thanks to her amazing talents as an actress and singer. As a member of the musical duo Sonny & Cher, Cher skyrocketed to pop stardom in the late 1960s and went on to achieve great success in the years to come. She has struggled with heartache and hard times throughout her life but has always been a beacon of positivity and happiness for many people all over the world.

With plenty of drive and ambition to make a great life for herself full of fame and success, Cher worked hard at perfecting her skills as a singer and actress. Her bold personality helped her meet influential people along the way, but it was ultimately her own talent that made her the star she still is today. Cher’s powerful and unique voice helped her stand out against other singers. The performer has since become the Goddess of Pop for being a pinnacle figure in the male-dominated entertainment industry. With a career spanning over six decades, it’s no surprise that this talented woman has received a plethora of awards and praise for her incredulous work.

Praised by many for her inclusivity and acceptance of others, Cher was not always as open-minded as she is today. In fact, the star struggled with accepting her son, Chaz Bono, when he came out as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Although Cher had been praised by the community for the overwhelming love and acceptance she had for everyone, she struggled to come to terms with her own child’s transition but has since grown to love her son for being who he was meant to be.

Cher was born Cherilyn Sarkisian on May 20, 1946, in El Centro, California. She has worked under her real name and even some pseudonyms for a couple of projects early on in her career, but her famous moniker resonated with many and stuck, ultimately helping her stand out in the music crowd. She didn’t always live such a lavish and luxurious lifestyle, as Cher and her family struggled financially while the star was young. 

Before she was even a teenager, Cher had already shown a great interest in the arts and even produced her very own performance of the musical “Oklahoma!” for her fifth-grade teacher and class. Since she was unable to convince the boys in her class to participate, Cher decided to act out the male roles and sing their songs herself. Her unusually low voice fascinated many and ultimately led her to become the star she is today.

Her adoration for the arts continued as she grew more interested in films and film stars, especially Audrey Hepburn and the 1961 movie “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.” Cher easily took a liking to the fashion in the movie and even dressed and acted like Hepburn’s character. Unsure if she had the talent to make it herself, Cher didn’t know if she could be a successful singer or actress, but she had a passion for becoming famous.

Cher was later enrolled at Montclair College Preparatory School, a private school in the Los Angeles neighborhood Encino. The upper-class environment of the school came as a shock to Cher. Although she was not the best student, Cher was still extremely intelligent and very creative, and her striking looks and personality made her even more of a leading light among her classmates.

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When she turned 16 years old, Cher dropped out of school, left home, and moved to Los Angeles with a friend. She dedicated her life to her passion of becoming a star and began taking acting classes while working to support herself by dancing at small clubs. There, she was able to introduce herself to a litany of other performers as well as managers and talent agents. Her bold personality paid off when she met fellow performer Sonny Bono in November 1962.

Bono introduced Cher to Phil Spector, a record producer who had many hits, including the Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.” Spector helped the rising star by having her work as a backup singer on a few recordings and even produced her first single, “Ringo, I Love You,” although Cher did not release the song under her own name. Written and produced by Spector, the song was a tribute to the Beatles. Radio station programmers struggled to like the singer’s deep, contralto vocals and ultimately turned down the opportunity to play her song on the air.

Cher and Bono grew closer and became good friends before turning their friendship into a romantic relationship. They got married in a hotel room in Mexico on Oct. 27, 1964. Although the original intent for their musical partnership was to help launch Cher’s solo career, Cher had other plans and insisted on her new husband joining her along her musical journey. They first emerged as a duo called Caesar & Cleo but received poor reviews for their work. After focusing on some solo projects for Cher, the pair tried their hand again at becoming a successful duo.

Bono was an actor and politician at some points in his life, but he was best known for his skills as a singer, songwriter, and producer. His claim to fame was his duo with Cher, and the partnership was active together from 1964 until 1977, with a few reunions following their split both musically and romantically, as the couple divorced in 1975. During this time, they also had one child together who went on to become a writer, actor and musician, and icon for the LGBTQIA+ community.

Bono died from a skiing accident on Jan. 5, 1998, after he hit a tree while skiing at Heavenly Mountain Resort in South Lake Tahoe, California. Though they were not married at the time of his death, as Bono had gone on to marry two other women following their split, Cher gave a eulogy at his funeral. His wife, Mary Bono, filled in for the remainder of his congressional term as a member of the United States House of Representatives. While Bono was alive, he and Cher emerged in the music industry as the musical duo Sonny & Cher after reinventing themselves from their previously failed partnership. This time around, the couple received the praise and success they had always wanted. 

Their song “I Got You Babe” was a massive hit and reached No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in 1965 and spent three weeks at the top of the charts. It also received great success all around the world. Originally performed by the British reggae-pop band UB40, Sonny & Cher made “I Got You Babe” their own and breathed new life into the beautiful song. Rolling Stone even listed the song as one of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time in 2003.

The couple quickly skyrocketed to fame not only for their musical talents but for their personalities and great sense of fashion. Fans began dressing similarly to the stars with bell-bottoms, ruffled shirts, and fur vests. Since she had become a style icon, Cher later went on to design her very own clothing line. Even today, Cher is still an icon in the fashion world and has a line in partnership with VIDA because the company “presents an outlet for artists from all over the world to have their art seen.”

Together, the pair also had their own set of television shows. “The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour” aired from 1971 until 1974. It was a variety show filled with comedy sketches and musical performances that gave viewers a chance to get better acquainted with Cher and Bono and really connect with their individual personalities. They had a number of stars appear on the program, including Glen Campbell, Andy Griffith, and Carol Burnett. 

A new variety show titled “The Sonny and Cher Show” first aired a few years after “The Sonny and Cher Comedy Hour” wrapped up. The duo’s new show was successful for two seasons from 1976 to 1977. It was the first time a show starred a divorced couple, as Cher and Bono had ended their marriage back in 1975. While plenty of television critics were fans of the show, the everyday audience was not too keen on the joking nature of the divorced couple, leading to the show’s cancellation in 1977.

Although Cher and Bono understandably called it quits on creating music together following their split, their time together in the spotlight during their prime is still memorable and iconic to this day. The duo’s first album, “Look at Us,” was just shy of topping the charts following its release, and it was just behind the Beatles’ album “Help!” Cher and Bono continued to thrive as they released more music down the line, including songs like “Baby Don’t Go,” “All I Ever Need Is You,” and “A Cowboy’s Work Is Never Done.”

While working in the duo, Cher simultaneously focused on her solo career and proved to be just as great on her own. With songs written by Bob Dylan, Oscar Hammerstein II, and even her husband, Cher’s work was filled with rich, exciting, and beautiful content. Her song “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)” was released just one year after “I Got You Babe” and did well across the globe and was later covered by Nancy Sinatra.

Cher’s talents stretch far beyond the music industry, as she has also proved herself to be an incredibly talented actress. She guest-starred on the television series “The Man from UNCLE” in 1967 and emerged in the film scene during the 1980s with movies such as “The Witches of Eastwick” and “Moonstruck.” Cher also had one of the leading roles in the 2011 musical film “Burlesque,” which also starred Christina Aguilera and Stanley Tucci, and also appeared in “Mama Mia! Here We Go Again” in 2018.

Cher and Bono’s child, Chaz, first came out as transgender in 2009, and while it came as a shock to the whole world who first met him as a girl named Chastity, it was even more of a shock to his famous mother. Cher had just to adjust to “losing her daughter” and building a relationship with her son. Even as a child, Chaz knew he was different. While girls around that age played dress-up and talked about boys, Chaz chose a more tomboyish lifestyle.

Speaking to Oprah in 2011, Chaz revealed that his father accepted his behavior, but his mother was not as comfortable. “For my mother, I completely understand why it must have been difficult,” Chaz said. “You have this expectation of your baby girl and how that’s going to be, and I didn’t act like anything she probably imagined.”

As a teenager, Chaz first identified as a lesbian and publically came out in 1995. Although his mother had by then already been loved and adored by the LGBTQIA+ community, accepting Chaz’s sexual orientation came as a challenge for her. Cher later came to terms with the change, only to be hit with another revelation 14 years later. In 2009, Chaz announced he would be transitioning from female to male shortly after turning 40.

“It has been difficult for my mother, but I respect that,” Chaz told the Sun in 2012. “For parents, this could be something that’s kind of heard to deal with. It’s a process of grieving for a child you’ve lost and adjusting to the new one taking their place. It takes a lot of time.” Chaz continued, “Mom loves girlie stuff, so it was difficult because I was never that person. I could never give her that experience.”

Cher revealed that although she accepted Chaz’s decision and wanted him to be happy, it wasn’t until after his transition began that it hit her. “It’s a strange change for a mother to go through,” she told the Sunday Times in 2013. The pop legend said she was afraid she wouldn’t recognize Chaz when she saw him again and even asked him not to change his old answering machine greeting. When it came to his gender pronouns, Cher admitted she got it wrong “all the time.”

Cher now makes it a point to help others understand what being transgender means. “For the people who don’t understand it I try to help them understand, by saying, you know, ‘I just love being a woman so much, but if I woke up tomorrow and I was a man I couldn’t function,’” she explained. Now, the mother and son pair have a better relationship than they’ve ever had in the past, and Cher has said that Chaz is “happier than ever.”

Chaz now uses his experience to help others who are struggling with their gender identity. He wrote a book about his own experience when coming out titled “Family Outing: A Guide to the Coming Out Process for Gays, Lesbians, and Their Families,” and gave the public a raw insight into his transition with his 2011 documentary “Becoming Chaz.”

Chaz has also emerged successful in the acting industry and has been in plenty of projects over the years, including “The Bold and the Beautiful” and “American Horror Story.” Today, he enjoys a sense of peace that has come after accepting his identity. Chaz currently lives with his girlfriend, former child actor Sarah Blue Mathes, in their West Hollywood home. The pair met in 2017 and began dating in 2019.

What did you think about Chaz Bono’s story? Were you surprised to find out that Cher struggled to accept her son? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones, too.