Is Putting A Child On A Leash Ever Okay? The Results Are In - And It's Complicated

Sep 28, 2018 by apost team

I have personally never put a child on a leash. I witnessed others doing so when I was younger and I judged them harshly. My assumption was that these parents did not have the disciplines within themselves that is required to properly discipline a child.

I do not have to tell you how misguided assumptions can be.

I came from a loving home with strict parents. I can remember being in bed by eight o' clock each night. This was mandatory even in the summer months when our friends were allowed to play until it was dark outside. When morning came, we were not allowed to leave our beds until our mother told us we could do so. The parents of our friends loved when my siblings and I would visit their homes because of the way we behaved. This was because it only took a stern look from our mother to deter any wayward acts.

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The truth, however, is that we were no angels. When at home, we fought each other often. We made a mess of the house all the time and would get mouthy with our parents on occasion.

My own daughter was extremely polite as a child. My friends and co-workers talked about this many times. Once, my supervisor was shocked when at two years old my daughter said 'excuse me' in her tiny voice while passing my boss in the hallway at my job.

My daughter is a grown woman now and has her own family. I cannot express the pride and happiness I felt the first time I held my grandson in my arms. I must say, however, that the fairy tale did not last long after they returned from the hospital.

I am sure many of you will understand when I say my grandson was a handful from the beginning. As a family, we quickly became impressed with our new bundle of joy. But we all understood completely that he was a child with high needs.

No matter what we tried, my grandson could not be soothed. He had to be in his swing or the arms of a family member for sleep to be a consideration. And once finally falling asleep, he would keep both of his arms at the ready as if constantly on alert.

My grandson would only sleep for a few hours so the family worked together to hold him in shifts.

We had him examined by a doctor to make sure there was no problem and a clean bill of health was returned.

The official medical declaration was what was already known to the family: high needs.

My grandson got older and we watched him demonstrate more intelligence to go along with an intense and energetic personality. When he was a toddler, we had to be mindful of him at all times to assure he didn't run into the street or wander away in the direction of whatever grabbed his attention.

My grandson was a joy to be around but would leave us all exhausted. The stare tactics my mother used had no effect on him at all.

We never chose to restrain my grandson, nor either of his two younger siblings, with a leash. We were always able to work together to keep them out of harm's way. This was not always a simple task when caring for three children under the age of five.

What I learned from dealing with my grandson and his siblings is that every situation is unique. I am not nearly as judgemental as I was in the past and understand that most parents are doing the best they can with their particular situations. Their 'best' might in some cases mean allowing their children to wear pajamas well into the day, or keeping them safe from harm with the aid of a leash.

Parenting is difficult and does not come with a manual. The learning never stops for a parent but I have learned something that I believe is a complete truth. As long as a child is loved, the parent will eventually find the proper way to deal with them. My judgment, as well as the judgment of others, is irrelevant.

Have you ever used a leash to restrain a child? Has anyone you know ever done this? Is this something you would consider? These are all interesting questions to consider with friends and family members. Ask them to take a moment to read the article and express their thoughts to you.