If You’re Lonely and Poor You May Need To Adjust These Psychological Habits
Science has proven that social interactions are vital to your physical and mental well-being. From childhood onward, sociology helps to shape the human brain in learning key life skills like empathy. When you’re faced with life’s obstacles, it’s often the support of social connections you’ve built that make the difference between perseverance and depression.
It’s your ability to interact with others that plays a pivotal role in your school and work successes and failures. Clearly, social connections are a huge part of daily life, but sometimes the time and energy consumed within these social connections isn’t necessarily a positive thing.
Do you consistently spend more time concerned with the welfare, lives, and business of others than you do your own? It’s easy to become so wrapped up in your social connections that self-preservation and your own best interests get put on the back burner. Let’s look at some behaviors you can amend to start making your own well-being a priority.
1. No Isn’t In Your Vocabulary.
You know someone is a mooch or leech, but you still just can’t say no as they demand more and more. You’re prioritizing someone’s to-do list and needs above your own. Every moment of help, advice, funding, and overseeing are all collectively stealing time you could be completing your own to-do list. And, this isn’t a healthy give and take relationship. You’re likely to count very few times where these relationships benefited you.
Helping others must have a limit. It isn’t selfish to say no. Blindly saying yes doesn’t help anyone because someone constantly saved never learns that actions / inactions have consequences. Prioritize your own needs first. Otherwise, you may find yourself in a bind and no one there to do the saving.
2. Your Actions Are Based On The Approval Of Others.
You often end up selecting things in your life based on what you think others, not you, will like. A lack of confidence keeps you seeking the approval of others. Feeling a sense of accomplishment or “good” hinges upon praise from peers, coworkers, and those in authority. Without the praise, you feel like you’re unimportant or unaccomplished.
Look to your own self-worth as a guide in decisions. Strive to achieve your goals and follow your own path, not those you perceive you should have based on the opinions of others. Following someone else’s path in life is a recipe for failure that keeps you on the hamster wheel of constantly needing valuation and validation. Develop yourself in all facets of life, and, as you see the rewards, confidence will follow and your need for approval will diminish.
3. Being Switzerland Is Your Idea Of Avoiding Conflict.
Friends are arguing or there’s a disagreement at work... whatever the conflict, you hold yourself back from voicing your own opinion. You have a need to avoid any conflict. So, you rarely argue, complain, or voice your opinion. You often don’t even stand up for your own invaluable rights. While proof of patience, failing to be assertive when warranted sacrifices your happiness and ability to thrive.
Gain respect, happiness, and individuality by simply allowing yourself to have an opinion, a voice. Learn when that voice should be a quiet whisper and when it should be shouted from the hilltops based upon how important the subject is to your values and well-being.
4. You’re Responsible For The Happiness And Well-Being Of Everyone.
You pay for a friend’s ruined furniture because they’re complaining you didn’t miss work to help enough during their move. It’s these types of complaints, mishaps, and perceived support shortcomings that you internalize and guilt into being your own problem and responsibility. You’re afraid of, apologize for, and feel guilty about the negative emotions of and happenings to others. You allow others to blame and shame you to deflect their own personal responsibility.
Supporting friends in need doesn’t involve taking their burdens upon yourself to carry and solve. Be there how and when you can, but remember that it’s ultimately up to each individual to resolve their own issues.
5. Boundaries Don’t Exist.
Your boss calls you on your day off and takes up hours of your free time to solve his problems. Friends help themselves to your possessions without asking. You always make the travel to see a long-distance relationship. Whatever the scenario, you’re the one constantly appeasing others and inconveniencing yourself. This is as unproductive as it is unhealthy.
Remember that your time, energy, possessions, feelings, needs, and skills are just as valuable as anyone else’s. Determine how much give is acceptable before you need to retain and/or take. Set limitations and don’t hesitate to let those boundaries be known.
6. You’re Always Busy... Just With Nothing, You Enjoy.
You hardly ever decline the requests of others to go and do. I’ll be there, watch that, read this, and do everything. You’re schedule revolves around the requests of others to the point that you rarely have time to do anything you enjoy.
Separate your non-work time into two categories, one for the rest and happiness you need for yourself and one for the time you give to others. Again, it’s about prioritizing and setting boundaries.
Do any of these six psychological behaviors sound like you? Do you often feel lonelier than if you didn’t have social connections? Know someone that could benefit from the reflections here? Pass this article on to them :)