If You Make This One-Word Change, Your New Years Resolutions Will Actually Stick This Year

Jan 04, 2019 by apost team

With the start of a new year, most of us have made resolutions or goals for 2019. Our plans range from things like going to the gym to reading more books, eating healthier to spending more time with the family, the list goes on and on.

Sadly, most of us will see our new year resolutions fall entirely to the wayside, and we will remain trapped in our old habits. However, research is now showing that it is possible to stick to those new year resolutions, and achieving success may be hinged on one little word!

A man Ted to illustrates the way that one word can change the outcome of resolutions and goals. Ted was a well-to-do man with a great wife and an adopted son – Ted’s only problem was that he battled significant weight problems.

Ted knew that he needed to change his lifestyle; however, it seemed like the harder he tried to take the steps necessary to accomplish a healthier life, the less likely he was to succeed.

Only after Ted’s ten-year-old son started confiding his secret worries that Ted was going to die and leave him an orphan again did Ted change his mindset about dieting and exercising. Suddenly, Ted quit feeling like he “had” to do thing differently and began feeling like he “wanted” to – and that made all the difference.

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While our nation-wide mindset assures us that sheer willpower and discipline are the things necessary to change habits and turn around our lives, the truth remains that these mindsets rarely deliver the best results.

No matter how hard we try to do what we know is best, the feeling that we “have to” do these actions usually pushes us in the opposite direction. Actually, making our resolutions a success maybe less about forcing ourselves to do what we have to do and more about changing our mindset so that we want to do the things that we should.

By using neuroimaging, researchers have been able to see that humans have a battle going on in their brains between their reward seeking system and their desire for long-standing goals. When these two collide, it can be pure chaos and, as much as you may try to behave, the reward system generally wins out.

Things like the taste and other reward-based things are processed by our brain about 195 milliseconds earlier than the part of us that desires to eat healthier, making it seem more sensible to grab for a piece of chocolate rather than snack on a carrot stick.

While it may seem like our reward system is always going to win with such a strong head-start, there is a way to tweak our bodies and brains so that they will make choices that go along with our goals.

To do this, we the need to stop looking at healthy and good choices as being something we “have” to do and instead reposition them in our minds as something we “get” to do. When we make these changes, our passionate side and our intellectual side work hand-in-hand, assuring us that we achieve what we most desire.

For instance, if you want to eat a piece of chocolate but tell yourself that you “have” to eat a piece of fruit, your desire for a reward will win out and you will grab for the chocolate. However, if you tell yourself that you “want” to eat a piece of fruit, your desire and your goals will work together and you will choose to have the fruit.

When we “want” to do something, it becomes our own. We choose it because it is important to us, because it will point us in the right direction, or because it is a part of our identity. On the other hand, things that we “have” to do are generally not our choices.

They are restrictions that are put in place by doctors, caring family members, and our own shame. Of course, given the choice, we will always choose what we “want” to do over what we “have” to do.

Studies focused on the “have to” vs. “want to” difference find that those who “want to” take healthy steps are less tempted to side-step away from their goals and will actually look for ways to stay on track. But those who are forced to behave thanks to “have to” motivation will find themselves facing even more temptation than ever before, putting a person in less control and making them more vulnerable.

While it may be impossible to enjoy every good choice that you make in life, you can choose to adjust your attitude in a way that makes doing right more possible. Rather than looking for reasons that you “have” or "need" to do something, look for reasons that you “want” to.

From taking care of your children to attending work meetings, dropping bad habits and picking up healthier routines, try to change your mindset so that you will actually want to do these things.

How does your attitude affect your ability to keep resolutions and goals? Let us know in the comment section below, and then pass this article along to your friends and family. By working together and changing our mindsets, we can look forward to a much brighter tomorrow with goals that are attainable and success at our fingertips!