Idris Elba Gives Candid Insights Into Struggles With His Explosive Anger Issues

Mar 08, 2022 by apost team

For over a decade, Idris Elba has been a heartthrob in America and the United Kingdom. He is a British actor, film producer and musician. People may recognize him from shows like "The Wire," BBC series, "Luther" and movies like "Takers," and more. The actor was born on Sept. 6, 1972, as Idrissa Akuna Elba. The man was voted Sexiest Man Alive in 2018, his British accent is alluring to many and his skill in acting has fans all over the world glued to a TV or movie screen to watch. 

While Elba may be known as sexy and a great actor, he has also been very open about his anger issues. Anger issues that he said almost ruined his relationship with his wife, Sabrina Dhowre. 

Dhowre is a Somalian-American model and was born July 16, 1989, which makes Elba almost 16 years her senior. She is also a philanthropist and often posts updates on her life and endeavors on Instagram. She has been seen on the cover of magazines such as "Vogue" and "Sunday Times Style," and written for "Vogue" and "Elle." 

However, Dhowre is not Elba's first wife. The actor has been married twice before and previously said that he was done with marriage.

Elba stated in an interview with the magazine "Essence" in July 2017, "Am I ever gonna get remarried? I don't think so." He continued, "marriage is an institution of sorts. And I've done it. It's not for everybody. It's not my life's calling."

It appears Elba was not quite as done with marriage as he said he was. Despite his personal struggles with love and his own anger issues, he and Dhowre are still going strong. Read on to find out more about Elba's struggle.

Idris Elba's struggle with marriage and love has been a long one. He was first married to Hanne "Kim" Nørgaard, a make-up artist and writer, from 1999–2003. The couple had one daughter together: Isan Elba, born in 2002. Elba's first marriage ended surprisingly abruptly, with the couple not publicly speaking about the reason for their split. His ex-wife kept the Elba family name, and she and Elba have stayed in contact on good terms and co-parent their daughter to this day.  

Elba then married Sonya Nicole Hamlin for just four months in 2006. He later had a relationship with Naiyana Garth, but the couple never married. The couple had a son together, but their relationship ended with Elba moving out of their shared house rather suddenly. 

After all of this, Elba swore off marriage. Then he met Dhowre in Vancouver while he filmed the movie "The Mountain Between Us." According to them, they happened to meet at a local jazz bar one night, and it was love at first sight. Elba mentioned in an interview on "The View," that it was his only night off from the film. 

The couple was together for less than a year before he proposed to her in 2018. It struck people by surprise because he was vehemently against remarrying in 2017. In an interview with "People," he voiced how he knew he was meant to be with Dhowre. 

"She makes me laugh and we share common goals," Elba said. "She makes me happy. She makes me celebrate my successes and when I'm not too sure about stuff, she makes me think." 

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Even though this is his third marriage, the two married in 2019 with a lavish three-day ceremony in Morocco. It looks like the two are still going strong. He gave credit to his wife and said she made him a better man all around.

Open Dialogue on Anger 

The couple has a podcast on Audible called Coupledom, where they discuss items related to relationships – not all of them romantic. Elba and his wife often feature celebrities on their podcast, like Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner, the owners of Ben and Jerry's, and more. 

During an episode of the podcast, the couple talked about Elba's anger issues. 

He said when they first met, he was stressed, and often his anger would get the best of him. He would have explosive outbursts of anger.  

Elba explained that in these moments, he was not capable of calming down or immediately solving the tense situation. Instead, he would offer Dhowre an ultimatum. His first thought was that she could leave if she did not want to handle his frenzy. 

"I was always the first to say, 'Hey, if you're not happy, leave. Move.' It was kind of like a male instinct," he said in the podcast. 

Elba said he knows they both have strong personalities; however, Dhowre chimed in to explain she is not looking to fight. Her goal is to avoid falling into the trap of trying to strike back during his heated flare-ups because she might get angry too. The couple realizes that they will not be able to solve anything if both partners are angry. 

Elba explained when he doesn't get opposition from her, it allows him to take a step back, slowly calm down and reevaluate the situation, and he thanks her for that. He was also very open about the fact that his anger often has no acute reason and is definitely something he needs to work on.

How do you feel about Idris Elba getting vulnerable about his anger issues? In moments of heated rage, how do you stop yourself from getting out of control? 

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