I Need That Old-School Love!

The Notebook has to be one of, if not the most popular romance novel and movie among millennials. And it is not hard to see why. Almost every female in today’s society is seeking genuine love and partnership. Unfortunately, it seems as though what we are looking for is from an entirely different era.

One can only dream about the era when men used to open doors for their women. An era where your partner’s heart belonged only to you. An era where love used to fill your heart with happiness, an era where, when your man looked you in the eye, you could read the love and adoration he had for you in his eyes.

Clearly, the love that I am looking for is in another era.

A love where he took his time to handwrite you a letter, a time when your man hand-delivered flowers to you at work and not via some online delivery company. An era when love was so strong that a one-night stand was a foreign concept. A world where love was as true as the stars.

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One cannot help but wonder whether technology is to blame for this era’s numerous failed relationships. Why is communication today primarily done behind screens instead of face-to-face? Is a handwritten letter too much to ask for today?

Today’s millennials are, without a doubt, suffering the most. The reason to why I’m saying that millennials are suffering is because the true meaning of love has been lost.

Whatever happened to men going out of their way to court women? A time where a man could approach a woman on the street and stop her just to tell her she looked beautiful.

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That’s right, Tinder happened, along with a stream of other dating sites and social media. We have effectively replaced face to face communication with inauthentic behind-the-screens characters.

It is easy to see why it would be hard for a millennial man to commit to one woman when they have an endless supply of opportunities at a swipe of a finger. So, why would such a man take his time to stop a lady walking down the street to tell her she looks beautiful while he can do that online where there is an endless catalog of bios and photos to choose from?

Why physically approach a woman while he can approach numerous at the same time using a few clicks and keystrokes? It seems as though men today are more courageous when hiding behind screens.

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When dating Generation Xers and millennials, it's too easy to feel that these relationships lack ‘something’, an ‘understanding’ that can only be felt when you experience true love from a real gentleman.

Most men today are more interested in sex than love. Studies even show that men have greater sex drives while women have greater self-control. As such, men are living up to the fable that they are genetically wired to have multiple sexual experiences with different partners.

The internet has made it all too easy for guys as all they have to do is open a website in their phone or laptop and look for a no strings attached partner. And even if it is not for sex, men looking for relationships today typically begin their search online where rejection does not sting as it would physically. This results in a breed of men who want to get everything easy.

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Consequently, women are more or less a place where a guy can place his order for a dinner date and yet another for drinks. And let us not kid ourselves; men on dating apps are rarely looking for love, but rather, prey.

Another problem plaguing our generation is the inability to have real face to face conversations. Can you even count the number of times you have seen couples sitting together at a restaurant but not talking to each other?

As such, when problems arise in the relationship, hiding behind that screen and sending a text or email is more convenient than tackling the issue head-on. Today, most relationships end with a text containing only two words, “It’s over!”

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That is the beauty of technology. It provides cowards with screens which they can hide behind and act ruthlessly without having to face the other person’s anger or frustration. All they have to do is type, send, and then delete you from their phone and life.

It appears that for most male millennials, sex is the prerequisite to love. It is what defines the relationship. The ability to replicate the Kama Sutra and have sex in all kinds of positions is far more important than an actual emotional and intellectual connection. 

A woman that is unable to perform crazy sex acts might be kicked to the curb, her feelings and desires notwithstanding. But this is not to say that sex is not important, because it is, and should be mutually satisfying to both partners. However, love and compassion are what matter most in a relationship and sex should fit into that equation.

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Guys, think about this: when you are old and gray and cannot even take yourself to the washroom, who is going to change your adult diapers for you? Is it one of those one night stands you had in your younger days or is it the woman with whom you cultivated a relationship with? Sadly, it seems millennial guys have the inability to care. When they experience a slight bump in the relationship, they turn into Casper and disappear, never to be heard from again.

Another problem plaguing our generation is the need for validation from social media. Today, the worth of a relationship is determined by the number of likes it receives on Facebook. Real relationships are being replaced by fictional images of ourselves and unrealistic expectations. If this is what determines the worth of a relationship these days, then true love is doomed.

For now, continue to yearn for that old school love. It isn't dead. Does anyone else feel the same way? How do you envision your love story? Please let us know in the comments, and pass this on to anyone who needs to read it!