I Deserve The Peace And Empowerment Forgiveness Brings, Even Though You Deserve Nothing From Me

May 25, 2018 by apost team

Forgiveness is a lesson within itself. Hating you would deny me this lesson. So, I forgive and take this lesson for myself because I need it, want it, and deserve it.

Do not think my forgiveness equates to naivety. I am already smart enough to never hate you and wise enough to never allow you in my inner sanctuary again. Forgiveness will never involve naively releasing the boundaries I’ve set. Your proximity allows you to hurt me, and this I refuse. My preservation is my priority.

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Two kinds of forgiveness exist. One kind involves release of contempt to wipe the slate clean for a second chance at rebuilding what was broken. This, I do not offer. The other involves release of contempt to erase the slate so that the relationship may be severed in peace. This is what I have to give as I walk away from the rubble to move on without you.

Do not think my offering has anything to do with you deserving forgiveness for apologies you never offered. I give the gift of forgiveness because I deserve peace, not because you deserve anything from me.

Through forgiveness, I’ve made peace with what you’ve done and the resulting cemetery of relationships it’s left the two of us standing for this final farewell.

Do not confuse my forgiveness as acceptance of your behavior and broken bonds of trust. I can only judge the totality of us, not you, by it. And, I choose to make peace with it for myself, not you. I choose to trust myself, not you. I choose to take my life back, not you. Your deeds will not control me, my life, ever again.

In forgiving you, I’m breaking the shackles holding me to the past so that I can walk away from this wreckage and face the bright sunrise filled with endless possibilities. I weathered this storm; there’s no changing that it happened and nothing worth salvaging of the fragmented pieces. So, I refuse to look back at the wreckage I leave in my shadow.

Do not think abandonment means my heart is full of fear, bitterness, anger, or hate. I’ve purged my heart of these toxins through forgiveness because anything less would mean a piece of you still exists within me. You no longer belong here, neither in love nor in hate.

So, I forgive.

In doing so, I’ve learned of true strength and power. Everything can be taken from us, whether it be freedom or possession, accept for one thing - how you choose to respond to challenges. This is my strength, my power. No one can control how I respond to the wrongdoing of others except for ME. I choose to respond with courage and strengh, to forgive, and to let go.

Have you been wronged by someone? Has someone abused your trust? How did you handle it? Did you forgive? What lessons did you learn? We’d love to hear your stories.