Husband Upset With Wife For ‘Massively’ Letting Herself Go Since She Gave Birth To Their Baby

Dec 13, 2021 by apost team

Relationships are hard work. The longer you’re with someone, the more likely you are to really know that person. However, people can still change over time, whether it’s common changes that come from getting older or changes that come from people truly discovering their own identities as time moves forward. For instance, most people’s weight changes at some point in their lives as well as the rest of their physical appearance. Unfortunately, this seemed to be an issue for one couple.

A woman went to Mumsnet on Dec. 4, 2021, to share some troubles she was having in her marriage that seemed to be surrounding her physical appearance. The woman and her husband had gotten into an argument following a difficult conversation they had. She noticed that her husband seemed to be in a particularly bad mood that day, and was devastated once she learned what the reasoning behind his attitude was.

It turned out that her husband was upset with the way she looked. He said that she had completely let herself go after giving birth to their child, and she didn’t look remotely similar to how she used to look beforehand. The woman was aware that she had made some changes regarding her hair and makeup routine, but didn’t realize it was that damaging to her relationship.

The woman was clearly hurt, but wasn’t sure how to move forward with her husband that would make both of them happy. She went to Mumsnet to ask users there for their advice on how to best handle the situation.

For many parents, it’s common for their daily routines to change after they have a baby. The child comes first, meaning that some household chores might get put to the side or putting in some extra time and effort into their physical appearance may also get ignored. This was the case for one woman, as her appearance changed quite a bit following the birth of her first child.

Starting off her post on Mumsnet, the woman explained that she and her husband had gotten into an argument. She noticed that his demeanor had changed, so she wanted to know what was wrong. “He’s been grumpy all afternoon and I asked him what was wrong and he’s just blurted out that he doesn’t understand what’s wrong with me,” the woman said.

She continued, “That I’ve massively let myself go and that I don’t look anything like the woman he married. He’s right I know, which is awful.” The woman admitted that she had in fact gained weight and went up a few sizes, and also made some other changes to her typical beauty routine.

“My hair is brushed and clean but now my only upkeep is going to the salon every couple of months to get rid of split ends,” she added. “When we met I’d have balayage and styled my hair regularly.” The woman also said that she now rarely wears any makeup, when before she used to wear makeup almost every day and even went out to get her eyebrows and eyelashes professionally done.

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“I do dress OK when I’m out and about but tonight I was wearing my big dressing gown and PJs (not very attractive I know),” the woman said. “This has hurt, and I don’t know what to do.” It was clear that the woman was in search of some much needed advice, and fortunately for her, Mumsnet users quickly flooded the comments section.

One user commented:

 “Which feels like the ‘real you?’ If a more focused level of personal grooming is where you want to be, it is likely circumstances are getting the better of you. You could talk to him about what is stopping you from having the time/energy/motivation. If on the other hand you’re at home as things are now then you need to tell him that you’re happy as you are and see if what it is that’s bothering him about it is something that could be helped or if this is going to be a sticking point.”

Another user said, “This is all part of growing old together, is it not? Fair enough if you want to put makeup on, regularly have hair done etc. but if you don’t that’s also OK. Surely he married you for who you are and not what you look like. People change.”

Others pointed out that there could be a deeper issue at hand, and encouraged the woman to really consider her priorities in her relationship. One user asked, “Is he really complaining about your appearance or is it more about your change or priorities and/or attitude?” Another added, “How people evolve within a relationship/marriage is a deeply personal journey.”

What do you think about this woman’s situation? Can you relate? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones, too.