Husband Tells Wife She Has To Miss Her Own Brother's Wedding To Stay Home With Their Children

Oct 25, 2021 by apost team

Our families are our strength through difficult times, but they can also make our lives significantly difficult. Though there is generally a lot of love between family members, some events bring out the bad side in all of us, and the way we treat our loved ones can change. There are thousands of stories on the internet of partners and family members going above and beyond in their expectations of others which only results in terrible entitlement, and it becomes a huge wedge in an otherwise respectful and loving bond. 

One woman brought her problem to Reddit after having a fight with her husband about her brother's upcoming wedding. The post, which was uploaded in October 2021, detailed what the unnamed woman went through with her husband. The Op revealed that she has been a stay-at-home parent ever since her children were born, and though she didn't mind it, her husband expected that she would be the sole caretaker of her child and others would never be involved. This included babysitters because the husband had had a bad experience with babysitters when he was younger. 

This means that the entire brunt of child care was left to the OP, leaving her very little time to do anything else. When the time for her brother's wedding came up, her husband believed that the OP should not attend the wedding and that he would attend instead. He refused to give the OP any options and even guilted her into believing she was wrong for even wanting to attend her brother's wedding. 

In the Reddit post, the OP wrote that she has been a stay-at-home mother to her three children and her husband works full time. She continued, "My husband helps alot with the kids. He's a committed dad but is absolutely against babysitters due to an awful incident with a babysitter that was the reason his younger male cousin James got disabled years ago. I don't go out much since I have to take the kids with me and not every place is suitable for kids."

The OP revealed what had brought her to the "AITA" forum on Reddit, "We received an invitation for my brother's (who has been my husband's friend since college) wedding which we later discovered was child free." 

She also gave more details about the situation at hand, "My brother lives states away so the entire trip will take 4 days as well as my brother's inlaws weekend dinner party (their tradition) I told my husband I want to go since it's been a while since I been to a wedding and this one is special and suggested we get a trusted friend as a babysitter."

However, this was unacceptable to her husband. "He asked if I was serious to consider leaving our 2 year old with a babysitter and suggested that I do what I normally do and stay home with the kids while he goes to the wedding," OP wrote. However, she refused to sit back and accept what he wanted.

"I refused and said I have as much right to attend as him since we both were invited. He said it wasn't his fault my brother wants a child free wedding and I should do this for the kids and sarifice for their sake." 

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When the OP still refused to stay behind, her husband guilted her even further as he was to miss his "best friend's wedding" and this was more important to him than her relationship with her brother. 

Their discussion continued, but the husband refused to let up and called the OP selfish and petty for wanting to attend her brother's wedding. The OP concluded the post by writing, "He keeps asking who's more important  a wedding party or my kids and said I was unreasonable for making my attandance the hill to die on." When she asked if she was in the wrong for expecting, she had a lot of support from commenters on Reddit. 

The top comment stated, "I have a hard time to believe your husband is a good dad. Every single sentence from him smells like entitlement and selfishness. If you can't go to your brothers wedding, so can't he. Why doesn't he stay at home and you attend. Since this never came to his mind he thinks less of you and your needs. You are the servant for the children. Not his wife who is on the same level. This wedding shows you what kind of person your husband is and what he thinks of you."

Another person agreed, "Literally every single accusation he's trying to throw at OP is equally applicable to him!!!! The hypocrisy and obtuseness is truly astounding!!!!" 

Based on the rest of the comments, most people assured the OP that she was not wrong in any way, and some even went as far as to suggest that she re-examine her relationship with her husband and whether her marriage is still worth investing in. 

Do you think the husband was wrong for expecting his wife to stay behind while he attended her brother's wedding? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to ask your friends and family their opinion as well.