Husband Tells His Wife Of Seven Years To Get A Job If She Wants To Continue Expensive Lifestyle

Aug 27, 2021 by apost team

Long-term couples benefit from the fact that they can split many of their expenses, tackling things like rent, groceries and other costs like a team. But not every arrangement is fairly split. One husband took to Reddit to complain that his wife of seven years is not contributing enough to pay for expenses. In fact, she doesn’t contribute at all.

The husband pays for all her groceries, bills, vacation costs — even her student loan debt. In return, she is a stay-at-home mom who takes care of their two children.

Despite her contribution in the household, this husband feels like his wife isn’t pulling her way, especially when it comes to finances. Life, he explains, is expensive, especially when you have a wife who takes vacations and pays for house renovations and decorations.

But when the husband asks for financial help, they end up having a big argument. Even asking his wife to get a driver’s license, which would allow her to be more independent, was too much for her. As a result, the husband feels overwhelmed, and so he asked the Reddit community AITA in 2020 whether he was in the wrong for pushing his wife to help out financially.

Redditors almost universally came out in support of the husband, with many writing that it seems like his wife is spoiled and immature. However, a few community members were more forgiving, writing that it seems like the wife is upholding her end of the bargain — to focus on raising the kids at home until they are school age.

“Reading through comments it sounds like she didn't need a license until a year ago & like she really can't get a job right now because one child still isn't school age, plus with current events she's likely to be doing distance learning for the older child (if that's not already happening) by next month,” a Redditor wrote in defense of the wife. “When is there time for her to practice driving? When is there time for her to start looking for work? What has she been willing and able to do as part of transitioning? You seem to have a lot of resentment accumulated, but from the looks of it you wanted things to be this way and are now upset that she's not ready to change at precisely the moment you are.”

However, most of the comments were in support of the original poster, the husband, as Redditors felt that the wife is simply taking advantage of his hard work.

“It sounds like you've fostered a spoiled house cat who thinks money grows on trees and that you live to chauffeur her around. Marriage is a partnership and you're doing most of the work. I would absolutely feel resentful if I were you,” the top comment reads.

“But you're both kind of responsible for the situation you're in now. You've been complicit by being complacent about this arrangement for so long that she now feels entitled,” they added.

Another Redditor chimed, writing that he has personal experience with this exact issue.

“My parents are now spitefully divorced because of this exact thing,” they wrote.

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The Redditor went on to explain that his mom and dad fought for years because of this issue.

“Please find a way to put a stop to this. Getting your kids to school age before returning to the workforce was smart and probably contributed greatly to your kids mental health. But now it's time to leave the house and you can't allow your wife's refusal to contribute turn you into a 2-house family with shared custody on the weekends,” they added.

“Mine might be a worst case scenario, but it's gone from exactly where you are to where I am. Go to (marriage) counseling, get a therapist, a mediator, whatever it takes. I would hate to see what happened to my family happen to yours too.”

The Moneyologist, an advice column from Market Watch, addressed this very point after a husband explained that he was in a similar situation. His wife doesn’t work; what’s more, she spent $10,000 of his money and wants to add her name to the house and car titles.

In response to Michael’s predicament, The Moneyologist had advice that echoes many of the Redditors’ comments. 

“The boundaries of your relationship have been tested, and it’s time to stand your ground. Whether one spouse works or both do, and whether the wife or the husband is the stay-at-home parent, it’s not OK to treat one partner like an ATM and spend money without any reason or (in this case) any memory of having spent it,” he writes. “The time has come to stop normalizing behavior that is anything but normal.”

What do you think? Is the husband in the wrong, or is his wife being unreasonable? Let us know — and be sure to pass this on to get other opinions on the matter.