Husband Demands Wife No Longer Reads Books At Home Because He Thinks She's Ignoring Him

Oct 06, 2021 by apost team

Reading is a great hobby to pick up as it’s a fun way to disconnect from the real world and dive into a new world of fiction. It’s also a great way to relax. On top of that, reading is a highly cognitive activity, and it can help us learn something new. Unlike other hobbies, reading is typically a solitary activity. While many people enjoy getting to take that time to themselves and completely shy away from the world around them, if only just for a few minutes, others are not too keen on this idea. 

For one woman, she found that she really enjoyed cozying up with a good book and just taking about 30 minutes to an hour to read every now and then. However, her husband was not too thrilled with the idea and felt like she was completely ignoring him and choosing to spend time away from him any time she sat down to read. Even though the wife didn’t read that many books or even read that often, it clearly upset her husband any time she took time away from the time they could be spending together and used it to do something for herself.

Whenever the wife chooses to read, her husband feels left out, and guilt trips her into regretting picking up a book in the first place. They’ve continued to fight about the hobby, so the wife went to Reddit on Oct. 3, 2021, to ask users for advice on how to move forward with keeping both her relationship and her hobby.

Starting off her Reddit post, the original poster (OP) talked about her love for books but how they’ve been somewhat detrimental to her relationship. “I enjoy reading books, but my husband feels that it is rude for me to read when we are both home, because I am ignoring him,” OP said. 

However, she made it clear that she hasn’t really read that many books throughout their relationship. “I have read a maximum of 5 entire books since we got together a decade ago, primarily to avoid upsetting him,” she said.

Since they have similar work schedules, their free time usually lines up, meaning that any time OP chooses to read, her husband feels left out or ignored. Still, she expressed wanting to read more. “Recently, I bought a book that was the first in a series of 3, and it started this argument to a higher degree than usual because of the fact that it is a series,” OP explained.

She thought about going to a cafe or even reading in her car, but she preferred the comfort of reading at home. The downside was that she had to explain to her husband that although she would be home with him, she wanted to spend about 30 minutes to an hour reading without being interrupted. OP explained, “This will absolutely upset him, because he approaches me for comment or to tell stories every 10/15 minutes on average.”

OP asked Reddit users if she was wrong for wanting to read in solidarity at home, and an overwhelming amount assured her that she definitely was not. They encouraged her to read whenever she wanted to.

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However, Redditers were concerned about her husband’s behavior and wanted to know more about their relationship. In an edit, OP went into further detail about what it has really been like being married to her husband, specifically how he expects her to be readily available for immediate comment whenever she reads or has headphones in. 

Even though her husband has hobbies, he’s used to being mostly alone as he doesn’t have many friends and he works completely alone. OP added, “He is able to read, but he has some mild insecurities about his intellectual abilities.” She explained that they both also see therapists bi-weekly. “It’s mainly been individual therapy, aside from an approximately 6-month period of couples therapy during a time of crisis in 2019,” OP said.

In a second update, OP told Reddit users that she had decided to read for about 90 minutes in her and her husband’s bedroom. Her husband questioned if she wanted to hang out, so she told him he could sit with her, but he passed and just watched TV. OP said it was “unusual,” but she hopes to make reading a part of her routine every Sunday and Wednesday night until she can start incorporating more into a daily routine.

Even though they are married, OP and her husband don’t need to spend every single available moment they have with each other. Plenty of therapists agree that taking some time to yourself every now and then is actually beneficial to your relationship in the long run.

Do you think this woman was right or wrong to ask for alone time while reading? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones, too.