Husband Berates Pregnant Mom For Being A Bad Wife, Expects Her To Cook & Clean Despite 14-Hour Work Shift
Feb 21, 2022 by apost team
In recent years, women have been seen in the workplace and have more responsibility doing work that men typically do (working in factories, in offices, in warehouses, or at mechanic shops), when women get home they still do housework like cleaning, cooking and tending to the children. This role for women has been coined over the years as “wifely duties.”
A mom-to-be came to the social platform Reddit to inquire if she is wrong for not performing “wifely duties” for her husband.
For context, the OP is a 30-year-old American woman is from Illinois. She has been married to her husband for a year and they are expecting their first child. As some pregnancies go for women, her pregnancy has not been easy.
She described to Reddit users that her husband grew up as a mama’s boy. Many people believe that a “mama’s boy” is a man who has an unhealthy dependence on his mother well into adulthood, which generally results in the man expecting his wife to take care of him as his mother did, or to always take his mother's side over his wife in an argument.
The OP said his mother always cooked for him, cleaned for him even when he was an adult. He was never required or taught how to do house chores.
“He learnt all that through me,” she said on the post.
She provided information about her work conditions, her husband’s and pointed out the careers her mother-in-law and mother have.
“I work at a warehouse and I always work overtime,” she noted. “ My husband is working from home even before the pandemic.” Her mother-in-law is a lawyer and her own mother is a school teacher.
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The OP is a pregnant woman that works at a warehouse for 12 hours a day and has to go through a two-hour commute.
The OP wrote in her Reddit post that her mother-in-law and mom call her a bad wife because according to their standards, she is not a great caregiver to her husband. They have told her that it is her job to do the cooking and cleaning.
“My mom justifies my MIL intervening in our household matters,” she said. The woman voiced how this particular day her husband complained to her mother that his wife was too lazy. She added that he said “That I haven't cooked a proper meal in a week and I only cook easy quick meals,"
She wrote, “I'm away 14 hours a day overworking myself while he does nothing to help around the house. The few times he does help, he rubs it [in] my face while calling me lazy and complaining to my mom and his mom.”
The OP went on to say that her mother-in-law called her and complained about how her son has lost weight since the two married each other and that she feels the wife is not feeding her son. The MIL also said she would have never let him marry the wife if she knew how appalling her wife skills were.
“I told her, her son is a grown man who's fully capable of taking care of himself. [I] also told her to never bother me again while I'm at work.”
“My mom called me a few minutes later to also complain,” she said.
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The OP explained her situation to a friend at work, but unfortunately, the coworker was on the side of the mothers and husband.
“While we were dating and while we were engaged and lived together he was always helping out,” the OP explained. “Once we became more committed he started changing his mindset and behavior about gender roles and treated me as equal. Even when his mom tried to intervene certain times he'd put her in her place and defend me.”
“For many years we were equal and he never displayed that misogynistic mindset since he bettered himself. It only happened after the marriage,” she added. Other than Reddit users telling her she was not wrong, she told her twin sister about the situation.
“My twin sister lives [on an] entirely different continent and had no idea of these things. She was furious when I told her and called our mom to defend me. Then my mom called and said I'm trying to cause a rift between her and my sister,” she said.
The top comment fully supported the OP and stated, "t’s not the 1950’s and if he’s really ‘starving’ he’s perfectly capable of getting up off his lazy ass and cooking! His behaviour and laziness is quite disgraceful really and I’m sorry that you’re married to somebody and have a family with such misogynistic views."
Most other users were on the side of the OP and even went as far as to suggest to the OP that she reevaluates her relationship with her husband. Many shared their own stories of husbands who had regressive views and how much worse it affected them after having children.
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What are your thoughts on the situation? Do you agree with the mothers, son or wife? How would you handle the situation? If someone you know would enjoy this story, pass it on.