How To Raise A Child Who Is Compassionate And Caring

Dec 17, 2018 by apost team

Do you often think your kid acts like a jerk or wonder if they do kind things on their own without you forcing them to? Empathy is something that can be encouraged and developed in people, even when they are young.

When your little one walks up and bangs you on the head with a toy only to laugh about it. It's hard to imagine them becoming someone who cares or shows empathy for others as they grow up.

Some teenagers can seem to have it together. Putting others before themselves, even their sibling and parents. You see them make sacrifices and can only assume they have always been empathic. But, this is far from the truth.

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Let's assume a teen boy was just like others as a child. He was selfish and inconsiderate. He didn't care if he hurt others feelings. He was all about himself, just like most children are. It's usually a phase that won't last forever. Your child won't be throwing tantrums to have the first piece of cake with their friends in their dorm.

A lot of parents are very alarmed when they view the traits of selfishness in their children. But, the brain is just undeveloped in this learning area, in younger children. This is a trait with skills that can be learned. It's almost instilled in the brain to be selfish as it gives a better chance of survival.

Don't worry about what is to come. Focus on right now. You'll be building skills your children will use for the rest of their lives, but you're doing it right now. Your child won't continue to act as they do now when they are 20, or even 15. You won't believe the development that'll occur between this moment and through the years. You may also see a massive change in their skills in just weeks.

Consider judging the progress in smaller sections of time such as seasons. Sometimes it can take months to see progress, but you'll need to stay consistent and patient. Teach, love, and guide and your child. This is going to help them make it through life with the skills they need to thrive.

One of the biggest things you can do is develop skills over interactions that happen naturally. Yes, you may see a change when you have a serious talk but often some of the bigger changes come simply with play and other fun exchanges. Play with your child, argue healthy with them, read to them, and just hand out with them.

When reading or watching movies, bring up anytime there are emotions or if the characters have motivation. This will help the child to see how the characters are reacting. This will also help them to relate to their own situations.

Try not to to tell your children that they should care more about something. It usually doesn't leave an impression that lasts. If they see you leading out this example, it's going to hit home with them and that's what they'll remember. When they watch you make an effort to do something, they'll want to as well.

Your example leads them. If you care about the needs of others around you, they'll assume that's just how life is and you'll see that your child will open up to empathy and start approaching the world in the same manner.

It's great to spend time helping your child see experiences through other people's minds. This will help them to understand how other's feel in those type of situations. When reading to a child, you can ask questions like "What is the Grinch feeling like right now? Why is he so mad at everyone for celebrating Christmas?"

It's ok even to interrupt movies to ask questions and explore your child's mind. You're helping your child to relate to the characters' emotions. This helps them to see through their eyes and not just consider how they would feel or what they would do about the situation.

After completing this type of task, it makes it easier to ask those same type of questions about people in real life. You could say, "Mrs. York was really upset today during class, do you think something may have happened at her house before school?".

Or, help them to relate to their peers, "What do you think is the matter with Amber today? Do you think we could help her to be happy?" This will help with building insight and awareness of what is going on in other people's minds.

You can help your child to be more empathic by allowing them to experience their negative type of emotions. Don't bubble wrap your child! This can severely prevent development. Let your child experience feelings and allow them to feel frustrated, sad, and even disappointed.

If you distract them and try and fix the situation, this can stunt the growth of empathy. By allowing kids to feel, you have opened up a world for their compassion to grow. They can identify how they felt with others that experience the same type of feelings. You can support the pain but don't distract away from it.

An example of this would be holding a child a little longer as they cry when their grandparents leave, instead of distracting them with cookies to rid their mind off the sadness. Disappointments will grow bigger as your child goes through the years. This means you'll do a lot of listening and guiding.

You'll still need to work through the feelings instead of trying to make things immediately better. Allow them to try, and problem solves through their situations and guide them when necessary.

As we move forward, we need to consider that if we want our children to be empathic, this means that we'll need to show more empathy. The more that you show you care, the more your child will show this characteristic as well.

The study, "The Distinctive Effects of Empathy and Hope in Intractable Conflicts" published by a group of researchers in the Journal of Conflict Resolution has examined how empathy allows users to see the world through "our" eyes instead of "my" eyes. This helps the world to become integrated and care for others with a life that's full of connection and meaning. It allows us to envision the wold as a whole instead of all of us leading separate lives.

Will you be putting some of these strategies into practice? I know I will! Be sure to pass this on to parents who might be struggling in this area!