How To Love Someone When They Have Anxiety

Sep 07, 2018 by apost team

Anxiety is a word we hear more often today. Unfortunately, many people suffer from varying degrees of anxiety, some of which can even be debilitating. What this means is that many people are stuck dealing with their own anxiety on top of the everyday conflicts we each experience in our lives.

Whether you yourself deal with such a degree of anxiety or love someone who does, it is important to remember how to best be empathetic and compassionate toward those who are currently fighting their way through their emotional fears.

These two words seem so simple, but they can mean the world to someone who is in the midst of anxiety and stress. We all need some reassurance sometimes, so don’t hold back on this phrase. In fact, say it lovingly and perhaps even with a gentle pat or hug. These two words just might give your loved one all the comfort they need.

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Even if you don’t want to listen, show your partner that you’re there. Those with anxiety will examine a situation from all angles, often jumping to the absolute worst conclusion. When you want to stop and use logic, don’t. Just let them verbalize their fears. Listening will help them refocus and relinquish some of those fears.

Just don’t. No one wants to be scolded for expressing their deepest fears and feelings. No one wants to be treated like a child. So, while you may think they are clearly overreacting, do not remind them of this. Go back to the aforementioned recommendation and just listen. In fact, go back one more step, listen and then tell them that it will all be okay, that it will all work out.

When a mind is racing, it has trouble calming itself enough to sleep peacefully. As a loved one of someone with anxiety, it is best you realize this. Your loved one is not purposely trying to keep you up all night; they simply have a hard time quieting their fears enough to sleep.

So, next time your partner has a hard time going to sleep, try your best to soothe them before bed. Offer them some relaxing non-caffeinated tea, give them a massage, or meditate with them. And if they wake you up in the middle of the night, simply hold them and rock them. Be the source of comfort they are seeking to calm their thoughts.

It’s best not to take it personally if your loved one with anxiety appears to not trust you. It’s really not you or something you did, it’s the bubbling up of what you would see as an irrational fear.

However, they do not see it this way. To them, almost every time you’re away or engaging with someone else, their mind takes them to a dark place. They envision someone coming between you two; they envision the worst-case scenario.

This may seem insignificant to you, but your loved one will worry when they don’t hear from you. They will assume something has happened or that you might be angry with them.

So, if at all possible, save them from jumping down this rabbit hole by texting them back. Even if you’re busy and can’t respond to their question, just tell them you’re in the midst of something and will get back with them. It will make them feel so much better!

If you’ve had your phone turned off and they haven’t heard back from you, your loved one will probably send you multiple texts to see if you’re okay. Instead of getting aggravated by this, just look at it as a simple reminder of how much they care about you.

Sometimes they may become so overwhelmed with their anxiety that they will just want to stay in. This will get very annoying when they cancel on you last minute. Just remember, though, that they are dealing with something you aren’t and they may have been set off by certain circumstances, such as envisioning the huge crowd they’d potentially have to face at a party, etc.

Your loved one will probably overcommit themselves; they will want to do more than they’re simply able to. When this happens, help them where you can and simply support them when you’re unable to help.

While those with anxiety can sometimes be hard to be around, it is important to remember who they are at the core, underneath their anxiety. Sometimes your loved ones with anxiety may be, from your perspective, creating problems; however, to them those issues are real.

To fully experience the wonders of the person you love, you sometimes have to ride the waves of their anxiety. And to continue to experience the one you love, it is worth it.

Once they realize they can trust you, they will love you so fiercely. So, while you may have to deal with a few canceled plans and some consistent reassurance, your loved one who deals with anxiety will make it all so worth it!

If you happen to deal with anxiety or know someone who does, talk to us about your experiences by leaving us a comment. Never let somebody with anxiety go, understand what to expect and give all the love and support you can!