How To Let Go Of Someone You Know You Cannot Be With

Aug 23, 2018 by apost team

Have you ever fallen in love with someone you aren't supposed to? Maybe the person has a partner or simply lives too far away. Whatever the reason, if you are in love with someone you can't have, it can be a painful experience. However, there are steps you can take to help you deal with that pain.

Live in the Moment

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One of the hardest things about loving someone you can't have is spending time with that person. However, you can make this less painful by focusing on the time you have together instead of on the fact that you cannot be together in the long run. If you focus on the good things, you will have good memories later.

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Find a Hobby

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One thing you need to do if you are in this situation is find a way to distract yourself. Finding something you love to do can help you start to forget the person and move on.

Guard Your Feelings

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You might be able to maintain a friendship with the person if you can set good boundaries. For example, you may need to say that you can't listen to stories about trouble with the person's partner. You may be able to balance self-care with continuing to offer support to this person as well.

Find Your Own Support

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In a situation like this, you can start to feel isolated if you aren't careful. As a result, it is important to seek support among your friends. At first, you may not feel any better, but over time, you will start to appreciate their presence.

Compartmentalize

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This is a good skill to have for many different life situations. Compartmentalizing will help you avoid letting your feelings about this person interfere with your work. You can enjoy your time with this person and then put those feelings aside when you are away from them.

Get Some Space

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You may find you need time away from this person, and if that's the case, that's okay. Boundary-setting might mean reducing or even cutting contact if it's necessary for you to heal.

Go Out With Others

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You should try to date other people, but don't compare them to the person you are pining after. You don't have to fall in love with the people you date, but it will be good for you to open up to new people and new experiences.

Journal

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You might be tempted to vent on social media, but this doesn't help you examine what you are going through. Instead, try journaling. You can use pen and paper, or you can use a document on your computer. This will help you deal with your feelings.

Space to Mourn

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While you shouldn't wallow in your feelings, you should give yourself time to feel grief. Allow yourself a half hour to indulge in your feelings. Over time, you will find you need to do this less and less.

Express Your Real Feelings

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If the person is unaware of how you feel, it might help to let them know. You should not make any demands on the person or have any expectations, but you should be honest. This might help you both start to move on.

Have you ever struggled with your feelings toward someone you could not be with? What actions were helpful to you? Let us know your experiences in the comments, and show this to your friends and family. You never know who it might help.