How To Detach From Someone You No Longer Can Be With

Mar 18, 2019 by apost team

At one point or another, we have all fallen for someone who didn’t love us back. I’ve personally been there more times than I’d like to admit. You’re almost helpless in the situation because you can’t control who you fall for and it can be a really confusing time.

The worst part isn’t even realizing that you’ve got these feelings or that you’ve spent hours talking to your closest homies about your crush. I feel the worst part is all the time you spend growing with this person and learning what makes them who they are just for the rug to be ripped away from underneath you.

“I’m seeing someone else.” “I think that you and I are great as friends.” “Sorry, I’m just not into you.” Sometimes love doesn’t play out the way we want and it can be really hard to wrap your mind around that rejection. So what do you do when your heart is now in 1,000 pieces on the floor?

How do you continue seeing this person every day knowing that they don’t feel the same way about you? How you do maintain your strength after you were so vulnerable? Don’t worry my kings and queens, it’s not the end of the world. I have several tips for you guys to help you move on and get you back on your feet.

Heartbreak may be something that you haven’t experienced before. If you’re constantly around people, you could feel like you have to hide the pain and the sadness so you don’t look weak.

Everybody wants to be strong, but why? You give yourself the time to be happy, annoyed, angry, so why not give yourself time to cry it out? Maybe take a couple of days to just cry it out. Getting all of the sadness and pain out rather than bottling it up will be so much better for you mentally and emotionally.

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On a real note, when you’re experiencing pain like this, you may feel like you can’t really talk to anybody about it. It can feel like you’re all alone. Although that’s not the case, it can help to write what you’re feeling down.

Writing down your feelings can give you the feeling of venting to someone without actually talking to anybody. I personally like to burn my pieces of paper after I write my thoughts down. It feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Running to the ice cream section at the store and turning on depressing tunes is not always the most effective way to get over someone. Instead of sitting in those same habits, try finding something to do. There are 24 hours in a day so there is ALWAYS something you could be doing. Immerse yourself in something consistent and distracting so that you’re not constantly thinking about him/her.

Writing down your feelings is still a good way to get everything out with no filter. However, it’s cool to have a support system that can bear the weight of your pain with you when it’s too much for you to handle. There’s nothing like a couple of good homies who, at the end of the day, have your back. Don’t be afraid to call them up, even if it’s just to cry.

Sometimes all you need is for time to pass. You know yourself better than anyone else. It may simply be easier for you to ignore these feelings and let them fade over time. More power to you my brothers and sisters.

Spending the same amount of time with this person is probably not the best idea. Let’s be real, most of the time you spent with this person is because you were emotionally invested. It’s almost like a trap. You take one step forward trying to move on from that person only to be pushed back two steps every time you see them. Maybe spending some time away from him/her will be super helpful in getting you past that first step.

That being said, the time that you guys do spend together should be enjoyable. But you have to know where your mindset is and you have to be clear on what your intentions are. Don’t go into this time looking for something to come out of it if they’ve already made it clear the answer is no. You could be throwing away an incredible friendship by focusing on the wrong thing. Keep them at a friendship level and just enjoy yourself.

This just means that you don’t put yourself in situations that you know are going to hurt you. If he/she calls you looking for relationship advice, nope! If he/she asks you to go on a double date and you CLEARLY aren’t over him/her, nope! Don’t knowingly put yourself in a position to be hurt. You can’t wrongly accuse him/her of hurting you when you put yourself in that situation so make sure you’re keeping yourself guarded.

I cannot stress this tip enough. Speaking from personal experience, sometimes the worst part about all of this is not having closure. It’s like the rest of your soul is trying desperately to move on but there’s that one part that just needs to let them know how you feel. He/she will either accept your feelings and you guys will talk about it and it’ll be awesome. There is a chance they respond negatively to what you say. If that’s the case, don’t waste your breath on them anymore. Leave the situation knowing how much it took to open up to them, knowing that you’re the bigger person, and knowing that they don’t deserve you anyway.

Get back on the horse you guys! Just because this one time didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean the other times will fall to shit. Meet new people, have some new experiences, and remember that there is nothing you can’t do!

I hope this has helped and that you feel better equipped on how to deal with these feelings. If you know someone who’s not handling a heartbreak very well, don’t hesitate in passing this article along to them. We would love to hear from you guys and know what you think or if you have any tips that you feel will help too!