How Love is Different for Girls with Anxiety
Suffering from anxiety is like drowning in the ocean. One moment, you're floating along, and then suddenly you feel yourself falling under the water's surface. No matter how much you kick, you can't get to surface to get some air to take another breath. You keep kicking, but you still can't get air. You can see the surface, but you can't reach it. No one can hear you, no one can help you.
To keep from drowning, girls with anxiety need to learn how to float. We can't allow our anxiety to pull us down. When almost anything can trigger a drowning feeling, we need to learn how to handle situations while keeping our head above water, and for most of us, that means never letting our guard down.
This attitude towards daily activities also reflects into our love lives. Girls with anxiety approach love differently because it means letting our guard down and giving someone the ability to drown us. Where girls without anxiety see a companion and person to spend time with, someone with anxiety needs you to be more. Girls with anxiety need someone to lean on, someone to protect them, and someone they can trust. But the benefits of dating a girl with anxiety outweigh the negatives. While loving a girl with anxiety can be difficult at times, there are a few important things to know.
We like safety.
The main priority of any relationship is to feel the safety and comfort of another individual, but a feeling of safety is even more of a priority for girls with anxiety. For a girl with anxiety, a conversation with a random person at a bar can be episode inducing. We don't want randoms hitting on us or putting us in uncomfortable situations we can't handle. For these times, you're our lifeboat. While we may approach life with all the independence and confidence we can muster, sometimes we find our heads bobbing below water. In those moments, we need you to come and pull us back above the surface.
We like reassurance.
One of the biggest causes for anxiety is not knowing what is coming in the future. For girls with anxiety, the things we can't control are the most difficult for us to deal with. So when we ask you the same question over and over, it's not because we don't believe you. It is because we're scared you may have changed your mind. While it may get annoying to need to tell us constantly that you love us and you're not leaving, it is calming for us and makes us a happier girlfriend.
We like to lean on you.
You are our best friend, our number one resource, and the person we want to share our emotions with, regardless of if they're good or bad. If we're upset, we want you to be there to hold us while we cry and assure us things will get better. If we're happy, we want you to share in the happiness with us. We allow you to see us at our worst and at our best, so we come to you when we feel an anxiety attack coming on. We trust you to keep us from drowning, creating a bond between us you won't find with anyone else.
We love hard.
Anxiety causes you to feel everything deeply. We understand what it feels like to be alone, out of control, and when things are going, horribly, horribly wrong. Because we know just how awful that feeling can be, we want to make sure you never have to feel that way either. You are there for us when we need you, protect us from drowning in the ocean that is anxiety, and we love you for it. When you're dating a girl with anxiety, you'll never have to question how she feels about you.
Dating a girl with anxiety can be tough. There will be days of ups and downs, uncontrollable crying for what seems like no reason or persistent stress about things she can't control. But for you, it gives you an opportunity to be the person she needs. You can't change a girl with anxiety, and the more you try to change her mindset, the deeper the anxiety will be. If you can learn to adjust to the anxiety, understand what it is she truly needs, and be there for her, she will love you like no one else ever has.
To be in a relationship, a girl with anxiety needs to let her guard down. That guard has been created to protect her and to keep her above water. When she lets you in, she is giving you the ability to pull her back into the ocean of anxiety. It means she trusts you, but her anxiety will always make her wonder if you're going to help her or hurt her. She is scared, but she thinks you're worth the sacrifice.
A girl with anxiety will love you differently, but will need a different kind of love back. Your relationship will cause you to trust each other and to care for each other in ways you probably haven't seen in previous relationships, but the more you accept her anxiety as a part of her, the deeper your relationship can go. If you're dating a girl with anxiety, listen to what she needs. Don't call her emotions crazy or try to dismiss them. Anxiety is real, and the best way to recover from it is to work through it. If she's upset, hold her. If she asks you the same question over and over, answer them honestly. She's relying on you because she trusts you.
Girls with anxiety may love differently, but they love intensely. They trust and feel and love, unlike anyone you have ever met before. They just need someone who will love them differently, too.
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