Here Is What I Learned From Loving A Man Who Didn’t Love Me

Mar 04, 2019 by apost team

He walked into my life five years ago. "This is it," I thought, "This is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with." It wasn't because he was handsome or successful. It wasn't his sense of humor or his ability to see the best in everything that made me fall for him. It was because he changed the way I saw myself.

Within weeks of meeting him, the emotional walls I'd spent years building came crumbling down. He forced me out of my comfort zone. I had never felt so exposed before, and I liked it. I told him things I didn't dare tell my closest friends.

He unleashed a passion in me that I didn't know existed. I realized I'd been living my life like a bird born in captivity. I was breaking free from a cage that I hadn't realized I was trapped in.

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Our relationship was straight out of a romantic movie. The world stopped moving when we were together. Every song that played on the radio was a sign we were meant to be. Every single second I spent away from him was torture. I imagined us getting married, having three children, and adopting a mischievous mutt from an animal shelter.

Our relationship was everything I'd always wanted, and it was doomed from the start.

I did something we're all guilty of: I fell in love with an idea. Sometimes we want someone in our lives so badly that it warps our perception of reality. I was so desperate to find the love of my life that I saw something that wasn't there.

Human beings aren't meant to be alone. We crave affection. We all want someone to share our happiness with. We need someone to be there for us when life throws us a curve ball. Our fear of being alone often leads us to make poor decisions in our personal lives.

I was so focused on creating a storybook romance I ignored the fact that the man I loved didn't love me back. Even when I started to sense a change in the way he treated me, I was determined to make it work. I was living in a fantasy world, and it would nearly destroy me.

I spent every day silently willing him to take me in his arms and tell me he loved me. I'd lie awake at night, longing for him to return the affection I so readily gave to him. I ignored the way he changed the subject whenever I mentioned our future together. He asked for space, and I became more clingy.

Our relationship ended as suddenly as it started. Falling for him was one of my biggest regrets, but it also taught me so many important lessons.

The most important lesson I learned from my failed relationship was to always stay true to myself. Know what you want in a relationship. If your partner isn't willing to give you what you need, it's time to find a new partner.

I learned to never settle for less. Don't give up on your dreams. If they don't support you and share your hopes for the future, they aren't the person you're meant to spend your life.

I also learned that I can't change someone. People can change, but they have to want to do it.

Never again will I waste my time loving someone who doesn't love me back. The reality is we can't change the way someone else feels. The act of loving someone doesn't guarantee they'll love you back.

It's not your fault if someone doesn't love you. Our lives are made up of individual experiences. Everyone has baggage that affects the way they give and receive love. The person you give your heart to might not be capable of loving you back. Learn from the experience and move on.

I now know that love doesn't have to be brutal. A healthy relationship shouldn't feel like a constant struggle. True love should be easy. It will feel so natural you won't even realize it's happening.

When I fell in love, I was young and naive. I wanted someone to make me feel safe. I needed security, and I was looking for it in the wrong places. Never again will I give my love to someone who doesn't appreciate me, but that doesn't mean I've given up on finding someone to share my life with.

Someday, someone is going to love you like no one else ever has. It's not going to happen how it does in the movies, and you won't find love if you're looking for it. Love will find you.

Until that day, love yourself. Stand in front of a mirror every morning. Take a long look at yourself and say "I love you." You are worth loving.

Have you ever been in a situation like this? If so, what lessons did you learn from your relationship? Let us know in the comments and be sure to spread the word about this article to encourage others!