Helping Your Child Fall Asleep Might Mean Listening To Your Heart, Not To Science

May 08, 2019 by apost team

As an exhausted mom of a toddler, I know first-hand what it’s like to get a toddler to sleep at the end of the night. It can take many hours before they are finally willing to give it up.

And, that snoozing may only be temporary as a lot of the time they wake up a little later whaling and looking for their mom. Now you must force your tired body up to get up and give it another go. You’re over it and It seems like you have tried everything that you have read and nothing Is working.

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Some children prefer for their mom just to be with them, next to them, as they drift off to sleep. This can be quite a daunting task because you are likely very frustrated and tired at this point.

Plus, this is one of those topics that is heavily debated. Some feel that you could actually be creating a stronger bond with your child. While others feel you may be hurting their independence.

Rachel Gorton, a certified sleep specialist, claims that sometimes you don’t have much choice in the matter. She recalls when her own child started to have issues with going to bed.

She knew that she could either struggle with letting him become an independent sleeper or face herself feeling completely frustrated with him going against her requests.

You may think that the experts have it all figured out. The truth is that their opinions aren’t so cut and dry either. The UCLA Sleep Disorders Center feels that there are three common issues when it comes to sleep problems with children. The issues are falling asleep, staying asleep and sleep itself.

If you are one of the moms that are transitioning from breast to bottle, this can be a challenge. It’s definitely a bittersweet part of life. You should view it as a positive thing as you and your baby are able to grow and adapt to the situation together.

It’s hard to change things because you have become the baby’s pillow and now they will be missing their pillow when falling asleep. According to UCLA Sleep Disorders Center, this type of situation is called sleep-onset association.

Your child may grow worried without your presence because they feel worried or scared of your absence, or simply because they love you and want to feel you close to them. Many people suggest to allow your child to self-soothe or fall asleep on their own. It’s said that this is vital to their development. Experts suggest they need this independence in order to grow up and function on their own.

Research shows otherwise. In 2012 a study was published that showed the act of lying with your child can be beneficial for them. It can help them to be more confident and independent as they tend to feel more secure and more stable from a closer environment.

The same research also suggested that detached parents at bedtime can, in fact, be limiting opportunities for their children. This can lead to unstable personalities if not addressed. These results aren’t to “tell” a parent what they should or shouldn’t be doing.

The results can greatly vary depending on families. Gorton states that from her experience both, personal and professional, that it’s best to help re-establish better habits when it comes to bedtime and sleeping. She believes in following your heart in knowing what your child needs.

She also believes that she plays a crucial role in her child’s life right now and she needs to provide what he needs to feel confident, safe, and whole. So for now, if he needs her to fall asleep, that’s exactly what she gives him.

Do you struggle with a challenging little one at bedtime? I know I have my days for sure! Let us know some of your strategies for bedtime in the comments and pass this helpful story on to your friends who are parents themselves.