Heartbroken Mom Can't Forget Nurses's Actions After Grieving Her Stillborn Baby

Sep 22, 2023 by apost team

Rachel Whalen has suffered through one of the most painful ordeals any mother will ever have to deal with. Her precious, long-anticipated first baby was born stillborn. As Whalen fought for her own life throughout the delivery process, it was the nurses attending to her that brought her back from the brink of hopelessness and death.

Losing a loved one is never easy, especially when it comes to children. Although Whalen went through insurmountable grief, she shared her gratitude toward the nurses at the hospital who helped her cope with the ordeal of losing her baby girl, Dorothy. With her family having done everything they could to comfort Whalen, the nurses were the ones who filled in the gaps. All those lonely hours grieving in the hospital after the birth were filled with the compassionate outpouring of love and support from so many different nurses.

According to Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS), Whalen is a kindergarten teacher in Vermont. Her daughter Dorothy was stillborn in February 2016. However, Whalen welcomed her child Frances in March 2017.

HuffPost detailed a study that showed nearly 30% of women who had a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy had symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder a month afterward, while 25% had signs of anxiety and 11% had signs of depression.

In June 2018, Whalen took to Facebook to share her emotional experience. While the post detailed how hard the stillbirth was for Whalen, the post also highlighted the woman’s desire to publicly acknowledge just how much each and every one of the nurses and their efforts of condolence meant to her.

Whalen’s heartwrenching Facebook post began:

“She rolled over the doppler to check Dorothy’s heart rate. I closed my eyes hoping to relieve the pressure in my head. As she pushed and prodded at my belly, I noticed she had actually stopped talking.”

The mom explained how it seemed like nothing was going right. The nurses tended to her husband, Mike, while also checking on all the unborn baby’s stats. Unfortunately, nothing could be done to help Whalen’s child.

“Minutes later the nurse returned with one of the residents who had been supervising me that week,” Whalen continued. “As the doctor rolled in the portable ultrasound machine, I noticed that her mouth was not in its usual smile, but her lips were thin and pressed tightly together. There was silence in the room as the wand glided over my stomach.”

She continued, “Before she said the words, I knew what had happened. Her eyes were filling with tears and her breath was heavy. ‘I’m so sorry’ she whispered. ‘There is no heartbeat.’”

In an interview with HuffPost, Whalen talked about the trauma she endured from a previous miscarriage. “It was just a really lonely experience and I was scared,” she said. Whalen went on to get pregnant again, but sadly miscarried once again.

“After that, I have never experienced my body in the same way again,” Whalen explained. “Any twinge, any cramp — I’m always waiting for it to be something more.” She said that sometimes she finds herself “surprised by the level of anxiety” that she still feels.

After Whalen returned to work as a teacher, she was overwhelmed with the support from her young students. She said it was “wonderful” that they kindly spoke their minds and helped her.

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In a piece she wrote for the Her View From Home blog, Whalen detailed more of her story. She wrote:

“The moments you spent in my arm were far too brief. Our time spent together seemed to end before it ever began. And then there came a moment where you left me forever. But we both know that you never really went anywhere. Because even though you were stillborn, I still carry you with me.”

In 2018, Whalen shared a heartfelt letter to the nurses who cared for her during her pregnancy and after her baby was stillborn. “Thank you for saving me. Your skills and your knowledge saved me from following my daughter into death, but it was your compassion that guided me back towards life,” she wrote.

Whalen detailed how grateful she was to the nurses who brought pillows and popsicles to her husband, who rushed her to the ICU, who brushed her hair and teeth, and who asked her about Dorothy.

There was a nurse who helped Whalen get her baby dressed for her only picture. She made sure her little dress was perfect, not covering her eyes, and her sweet, tiny hands were crossed just right.

Whalen, who welcomed her child Frances afterward, concluded:

“Finally, I want to thank the nurses who saw me through my pregnancy with Dorothy’s little sister. Even after Frances came into the world, you never forgot that someone came before her. You knew that the birth of Frances did not make me a first-time mother. It made me a mother of two.”

What can you say about this story? Do you have any people that you know that have gone above and beyond their call of duty to help you out when you really needed it? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones.