Guy Is Accused Of Body-Shaming His GF After He Asked Her Not To Eat As Much Of His Broke Grandmother’s Food

Oct 01, 2021 by apost team

There are times when doing the right thing can be uncomfortable or even seem rude. A man in his 20s experienced this when he asked his new girlfriend to eat less at his grandma's house because his grandma is less fortunate and relies on the extra food for the week. The boyfriend felt he had a good reason to ask his girlfriend, Ashley, to eat less, but Ashley did not respond well. She felt that her boyfriend was body-shaming her and refused to eat less.

The boyfriend decided to share his story on Reddit to determine if what he did was wrong. He began by saying that he knew the premise of the story sounded bad, and he asked for the other users to hear him out before jumping to conclusions. The guy explained that his grandma is a great cook and loves to host, but she is both broke and too prideful to accept financial help or extra food from the family. This means that the boyfriend's family takes small single portions while eating so grandma will have enough leftovers for the rest of the week.

When Ashley went to grandma's house for dinner for the first time, she was not aware of this custom and helped herself to second and third portions of the meal. This meant that the boyfriend's grandma would end up hungry later on, so he spoke up. What really bothered him was that Ashley still refused to eat less when he explained the problem.

This is a complex situation, but the majority of users on Reddit agreed that the boyfriend did nothing wrong. They thought the girlfriend was being defensive and inconsiderate in her response, and the boyfriend was not body-shaming by asking her to eat less in this case. Keep reading to learn more. 

The boyfriend began his story on Reddit with some background information about his relationship. He wrote: "Ashley grew up financially well off and relatively privileged and it has been a point of friction in our relationship with her not understanding/grasping the level of poverty I and my family grew up with. It is also relevant to this story that Ashley is a heavier person and is a very vocal advocate for body positivity and will very assertively stand up to anyone fat shaming herself or others." 

He added: "The other person who is relevant to this story is my grandma (70). My grandmother is a wonderful woman but she is both very proud and very broke. She likes to have us over for dinner and is an excellent cook but financially she can't really afford it."

The girlfriend was not aware of the grandma's financial situation ahead of the first dinner. "About a month ago we had dinner with her and Ashley liked the food so much she went back for second and third large portions. This is not done in my family, we all take a single small portion, as the leftovers are what my grandmother has to eat for the week so Ashley taking more meant my grandmother didn't eat for the next couple days," explained the boyfriend.

Ashley was immediately defensive when the subject was brought up. The man wrote, "I said we could go eat again after the meal if she was still hungry. Ashley got very angry at this and said 'she will NOT be shamed for her eating, she will NOT limit her food and that NO ONE other than her decides when she's had enough food' she also said I was fat-shaming her."

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The boyfriend added an update to his post, it said: "A lot of people are asking why I didn't tell my gf before the first meal. To be frank I didn't think of it. It hadn't occurred to me that someone would go to someone else's house and eat two days worth of food in one sitting."

The post has over 3,000 comments from users who were shocked by Ashley's behavior after she learned the whole story and thought it was a red flag. The top comment said: "Oh I was ready with a judgment with the title and first paragraph but...She could eat before or after. You are not shaming her. She just doesn't care about grandma. That's not a great quality."

Others agreed that eating before or after was a good compromise in this situation. "The first event was just miscommunication, and I know many families that would be peeved with you not eating well enough. After that, though? Come on, just eat beforehand and all is well. I pre-eat all the time when having dinners or events with friends, because I can gobble like no tomorrow and basically breathe chips," commented another person. 

A different person pointed out, "Agreed, but also wondering why grandmother is so proud that she would rather not eat than allow her family to help her out. There comes a point where pride borders on stupidity." Another solution to this problem would be finding a way to get the boyfriend's grandma to accept the help she needs. 

Who do you think was right and wrong in this situation? Was the boyfriend body-shaming? Let us know your opinion and be sure to pass this on to your friends and family.