Grown Son Feels Bad About Making Father Cry By ‘Mocking’ Him For Misgendering His Daughter

Oct 15, 2021 by apost team

Although many people in the world are becoming more accepting of those different from them and are advocating for groups that need help, there are still several people still stuck in their old ways. Unfortunately, some folks have to deal with close-minded people in their own families. Family should be there to love, support and protect you, no matter what, but that sadly isn’t always the case.

One man sought to be a good sibling to his sister by standing up for her against their father. She came out about a year ago and expressed to her family that she now identifies as a woman. However, her father was not accepting in the slightest. He constantly called her by the wrong pronouns, misgendered her and even used her deadname.

It was clear that the father’s behavior was harmful to his daughter, so the grown son did his best to correct him whenever necessary. He tried to be gentle with his corrections most of the time, but it seemed like he had reached his limits during an argument one day.

Trying to be a supportive brother, the man stood up to his dad and mocked him, calling him a bad father. The father and son argued to the point that the son actually made his father cry. He left the conversation feeling really guilty and didn’t know what to do next. He wanted to get his point across, but he felt bad about making his dad so upset. The grown son went to Reddit on Sept. 29, 2021, to seek some advice and support from users.

Starting off his Reddit post, the original poster (OP) talked about how his family reacted when his sister first came out. “My mother was accepting but my dad straight up told her that he would always see her as a son and that she will always be a man playing dress up,” he said. OP and his mom have stood by his sister’s side and have continuously tried helping the dad be more open-minded and accepting, but it usually just ended with the dad screaming at everyone and the sister crying.

OP’s sister doesn’t live with the rest of the family, so when she wasn’t there one day, OP and his parents had a conversation about her. His father continued to misgender and got angry whenever someone used her current name. “I started to mock him,” OP said, not tolerating his dad’s behavior any longer. He continued, “I would call him a bad father, I asked him if making her cry was a hobby of his, I made a lot of jokes which pretty much made fun of him. I think I crossed the line by asking him if he wanted to attend his daughter’s funeral so badly.”

OP realized what he said was messed up, especially after his dad started to cry. “I wanted to annoy him not to make him cry,” he explained. “I have never seen him cry before.” OP felt like he acted like a bully, and his mother told him that she was ashamed of his behavior. OP asked Reddit users for their thoughts and advice on this situation.

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Redditors explained that although OP may have been a bit harsh, it was important for him to stand up to his father and protect his sister. Harmful behavior like constant misgendering or deadnaming can lead to terrible outcomes in the LGBTQIA+ community, which included self-harm. Moreover, many people on the spectrum are also a target for others to cause harm, and many people's lives are taken due to this type of discrimination.

Regarding OP’s Reddit post, several users chimed in with words of support and let him know he did the right thing. One user commented, “It sounds like you didn’t make him cry by mocking him, you made him cry by saying he was going to drive his own child to their death with his cruelty. And he... well should cry about that.”

Another user replied, “You just made it very clear what the possible consequences of his actions are. Also calling him a bad father isn’t mocking him. It’s the truth. Your mother should be more concerned about protecting your sister and not her bully.”

Anyone in the LGBTQIA+ community struggling with unsafe homes or thoughts of suicide can seek help and find support from organizations such as The Trevor Project, It Gets Better and The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

It is not always easy to accept yourself when the world is so prejudiced against people who are on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and it becomes even harder to do so when friends and family don't accept you for who you are. However, with supportive brothers like the OP for this post, it can become easier to accept and move forward. 

What do you think about how the grown son handled this situation with his father? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones, too.