Grieving Mother Visits Son's Resting Place, Is Outraged To Find Cemetery Is Hosting 'Movie Night'

Nov 19, 2021 by apost team

Losing a loved one is always devastating. One of the things that can help us in our grieving process is having a serene place to visit where we can remember the lost friend or family member. Leyla Durmus, a woman from Illinois, lost her son when he was 21 to an opioid overdose in 2016. Her son is buried at the Memory Gardens Cemetery in Arlington Heights, Illinois, where she frequently visits.

During the summer of 2018, the cemetery planned a movie night and chose to show "Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark" on a Saturday night in August. For Durmus, this showed a complete lack of respect for the people who were visiting their loved ones' graves and expecting a quiet evening of solemnity. She was outraged and made her opinions known, but the cemetery refused to cancel the event.

A spokesperson from the cemetery said that the movie would be played in an open field and not on any graves or grave markers. However, Durmus claimed that the viewing would still be in sight of her son's grave and that the entire event was disruptive and disrespectful. The spokesperson also said that the purpose of the movie night was to create a gathering place for members of the community. 

Durmus also said that she has devoted much time and energy to fighting the movie night plans but to no avail. The grieving mother still does not understand why the movie night can't be held somewhere else. Keep reading to hear more from Durmus and to see the cemetery's statement on the matter. 

Losing her son has been devastating for Durmus. "Kaya was my world. He wasn't perfect, but he was perfect to me," the mother shared with CBS Chicago. 

The disruption of the movie night has offended Durmus on a deep level. "I think it's disgusting," she said. "It's very disrespectful to me as a grieving mother. There are other places where they can do it. Why the cemetery?"

"It's still in view of people's resting places," Durmus argued. She added that this is the reason she has been fighting with the cemetery for so long over the movie night. 

The grieving mother says she would rather be spending her energy on raising awareness of the opioid crisis, which claimed her son's life. "That's the fight I should be having. Not about a stupid movie night," she said. 

A statement released by the Memory Gardens Cemetery states: 

"The movie night planned at Memory Gardens Cemetery is one of many ways we support the local Arlington Heights community throughout the year. In the past when we've hosted similar events at other cemeteries in the Chicago area, we've received a very positive response from residents and built great relationships in our local community."

The statement continued, "Our intent in hosting these types of events for those with loved ones interred at our cemetery and members of the Arlington Heights community is to serve as a gathering place and to foster a sense of community among Arlington Heights residents."

It also made clear that the event would not be held on or near any of the burial sites.

apost.com

The statement reads, "The movie night event is hosted in a field within the cemetery and not where graves or grave markers are present. We apologize for any misunderstanding and encourage anyone with concerns to contact us directly."

Many apost.com readers took the cemetery's side.

"I mean it's not my ideal location for watching a movie. But it's their property. It's away from the graves in an open field. It's a movie NIGHT. So I'm assuming the cemetery is going to be closed anyway. They also host other community activities," Jesse Conway commented.

"I feel for this lady's loss, but I really don't see the harm in it," he added.

Melissa Beth agreed, noting that it's normal for cemeteries to host events.

"Cemeteries having events really is not a new concept. My mother told me when she was younger, they used to have picnics on Sundays after church in the cemeteries, it was actually a very common gathering place for people to socialize," she wrote. 

"I can understand that she's a grieving mother, but she doesn't have any control over what the cemetery decides to do. As long as they're not desecrating the graves or disrupting anyone at night, what they do with their space is their business. It's not like they're throwing a frat party."

With that said, some readers found Durmus' argument compelling. Des Taylor called the gathering "just weird" and "bizarre," adding that it's not exactly normal for people to watch movies in cemeteries. Another reader wrote that the event was "in poor taste."

Since the story broke in 2018, there haven't been any updates on the situation. However, CBS Chicago reported that Durmus had planned to publicly protest the event. 

What do you think of this predicament? Should the event have been canceled? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones.