Grandson Refuses To Let Grandfather's Sons From His First Marriage Attend His Funeral

Sep 21, 2021 by apost team

Losing a loved one is never easy. People are challenged to work through a long list of emotions as they overcome their grief. Reminiscing about their loved one’s life can bring up a lot of beautiful and happy memories, but it can also bring up plenty of sad and incredibly difficult feelings, too. A young man recently lost his grandfather and his whole family had been utterly devastated by the death. While it’s common for people to be overwhelmed with many emotions during such a difficult time, the family was met with even more challenges on the day of the grandfather’s funeral.

The family history was a bit complicated. The teenager’s grandfather had been married to his grandmother for 56 years before he passed but had also been married to another woman prior to that marriage. During his first marriage, the grandfather had a set of twins with his then-wife and split when the twins turned 18. After he got remarried, his sons refused to accept his new wife and ultimately decided to not be a part of his life.

It had been difficult for the family, but they continued to live their separate lives to the best of their abilities. That all changed on the day of the grandfather’s funeral when the estranged twins decided to show up despite not having seen or spoken to their father in decades. The grandson was frustrated and didn’t allow them to come inside. He went to Reddit in September 2021 to post about the situation and ask if he was right or wrong for not allowing the twins to pay their respects.

Starting off his Reddit post from Sept. 12, 2021, the original poster (OP) went into detail about his grandfather’s life. He explained that his grandfather passed away at the age of 97 after being married for 56 years. Before that, the grandfather had been married to another woman with whom he had a set of twins named Steven and Shawn. However, the couple divorced after the twins turned 18, and the grandfather began dating another woman three years later.

“From the beginning of their relationship, neither of the twins accepted my grandmother,” OP explained. “When my grandmother and grandfather got married, Steven and Shawn cut off permanent contact with my grandfather.” Even though the grandfather made endless attempts to contact the twins, they always ignored him. The twins are now 77 years old.

On the day of the funeral, OP’s grandmother was in shambles, heartbroken over losing her husband of over five decades. OP was left in charge of the door security since the funeral home did not provide the service. “To my utter surprise, Steve and Shawn showed up at the funeral with ALL of their families,” OP said, shocked at the number of people they brought with them. No one in the family knew any of them except for the twins. 

OP continued, “They showed up and asked to please be allowed to come inside, but I didn’t let them pass since my grandmother was inside.” OP reasoned that since the twins were horrible to his grandmother and their absence deeply hurt his grandfather that they shouldn’t be allowed inside. 

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On top of that, his grandmother believed that she was the sole reason why the twins had no contact with their father. “I know that if my grandma went to see the twins, she would be absolutely devastated,” OP said. Steven and Shawn also hadn’t even spoken with OP’s grandpa in more than half a century.

Fortunately, OP came up with a plan that would allow them to come and pay their respects without having to see his grandmother, but they refused since they wanted to go in the moment they got there. “In the end, they ended up leaving the place incredibly angry and super mad at me since I wouldn’t budge,” OP explained.

The twins and their families didn’t let up following the funeral. “Somehow the twins’ family found my social media, and now their children and grandchildren keep sending me messages about how I denied the twins the opportunity to ‘make up for their mistake’ and say goodbye to ‘the person they love the most,’” OP said. He explained that the messages “really cut deep” into him and he felt wrong for not giving the twins the chance to say goodbye to their father.

Several Reddit users flooded the comment section to tell OP that he was not wrong for how he handled the situation. “As much as they have some ‘right’ to pay their respect to their father, say goodbye, etc, YOU OFFERED IT TO THEM,” one user said. Another user chimed in and said, “The twins’ actions speak for themselves.” A third user replied, “Well done OP for protecting your Grandma on the most vulnerable day of her life… Your Grandfather would have been very proud.” 

Do you think the grandson was right to not let his grandfather’s sons attend the funeral? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your loved ones to find out what they think, too.