Grandma Wants To Finally Start Living For Herself, So She ‘Retires’ From Taking Care Of Her Grandchildren, Upsets Her Daughter

Oct 07, 2021 by apost team

Every parent hopes that one day their children will grow up to help make the world a better place no matter what. Whether it’s starting their own charitable organization or simply just being kind and respectful to others, all parents hope that their grown kids will do what they can to help others. This mindset can then hopefully be passed down to the next generation.

While being a parent is exciting, being a grandparent is just as exhilarating. After raising a child and giving them your best, watching your child become a parent is in itself a very rewarding and beautiful thing. However, sometimes, grandparents take on a major role of a parent in their grandchildren's lives as well. This is not something a grandparent does not like; on the contrary, it can provide a beautiful bonding experience with their child as well as their grandchild. 

If it goes on for too long though, it can lead to some problems for everyone. For one grandma on Reddit, her lifelong dedication to her daughter and grandchildren was coming to an end as she was preparing for a move to the South with her husband, but when she told her daughter that she wanted to "retire" from her childcare duties, her daughter got upset.

The grandma, who is the original poster (OP) explained that she was looking forward to finally spending time with her husband after their years of work, but their daughter was angry that she would think that taking care of her grandkids was akin to a "chore" for her. 

In her Reddit post, the OP wrote, "My husband and I had our kids young (I was 18 when my daughter was born, 21 when I had my son). My daughter ended up getting pregnant at 16. Even after she moved out and got married, my husband and I were heavily involved in caring for the child."

She continued, "At first because she was young and juggling school alongside being a single mom. Then she finished college, got a great job and her husband has a high paying job as well. They both worked crazy hours and during the time my husband and I should’ve had 'us time', we were basically raising a third child. We took him to school, babysat him in the afternoons. He’d spend at least one month with us during the summer. As a result, we are very close. We don’t resent what we did and enjoyed doing it."

Currently, her grandson is 18 and moved across the country to start college, and "My husband has retired and we want to move down South for better weather and relaxation. It’s been the plan for years. We’re working on selling the house and plan to be down there by Christmas."

However, "The issue is, our daughter had a baby-our second grandson-two years ago and is now pregnant again," the OP explained and added that their relationship with their second grandchild is different as their daughter was already a stay-at-home mother when he was born. This is not to say that they do not love spoiling him, however. 

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Unfortunately, "My daughter says we shouldn’t move because she may need our help."

For this, the OP had a very good answer: "I said while her father is retiring from work, I’m retiring from childcare. I want to be the grandmother that sees her grandbabies and spoils them but is not basically raising them. She got offended and said that this is just 'what grandmothers do' and I said not all."

The OP went on to explain that this move would bring them closer to their son, but her response has not sat well with her daughter and her husband, "It’s my daughter and her husband who are mad at us, especially as I said I was 'retiring;. They say I make it sound like caring for my grandson was a chore." When she asked if she was wrong for feeling this way, other Reddit users fully supported her. 

One popular comment stated, "Either she learns how to make it work and be a real adult with children or you stay a parent. Time to move on and enjoy yourself. Truthfully it's not offensive. It's not hurtful, she's upset she lost her 'get away from the kids' free card."

The comment continued, "Seriously move where the weather is nicer. Where you and your husband can truly enjoy each other. Do not feel bad. You don't have to regret or resent a situation to admit that you don't want to do it again, and you shouldn't have to. Grandparents are not traditionally the parents of their grand kids, so don't accept that from her." 

What do you think of this grandmother's response to her daughter? Do you agree with her? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to ask your friends what they think about this situation as well.