Girlfriend Slammed As ‘Selfish’ By Partner For Refusing To Contribute More Financially After Inheriting Millions

Jan 20, 2023 by apost team

For couples, joining two separate and distinct lives together comes with its own challenges. This can come in the form of innocuous problems, such as how much closet space do I get or dividing household chores. Far more significant is answering questions about how to blend daily routines or decide on the housing situation. But foremost on most people’s list of priorities is personal finances and just how much you should be either integrating or keeping independent your and your partner’s finances when you want to build a life together.

Personal finance is a subject that should never be swept under the rug if you and your partner are in a serious relationship. According to one study, finances is the one subject that couples tend to disagree on consistently. Another study, according to CNBC, found that money woes are the No. 1 cause of stress in a relationship. “Money really touches everything. It impacts people’s lives,” Emmet Burns, brand marketing director for SunTrust, said.

Whatever the issue may be, experts agree that the best way to deal with such concerns surrounding finances within a relationship is communication. OkCupid dating coach Damona Hoffman said explicitly stating where you stand on finances is key in a relationship as “you’re unlikely to be perfectly aligned on those (goals and values), but discussing them offers you an opportunity to understand your partner and find compromise on those important choices.”

One woman who discovered a substantial change in her financial situation took to Reddit to get the community’s take on whether her partner’s reaction was appropriate.

She began her post, uploaded on Feb. 12, 2020, by saying she came into a large chunk of money after a family member passed.

“My grandpa passed away a few months ago and I inherited a little over $4 million from his estate. I had no idea he had that much money and was honestly not expecting to receive anything, as I assumed it would all go to my mom. After I got over the initial shock, I took the opportunity to finally quit my job (which I really hated), as I don’t have any outstanding debts and can easily live off of $40,000 a year. I’m pretty introverted and am more than happy to stay at home working on art/music/other interests and gaming,” she wrote.

She continued: “Ever since I inherited the money, my boyfriend has been pressuring me to cover all of the rent and utilities (about $1200 a month) for our apartment and start putting money away into a joint savings fund. I would be happy to do this if we were married, but we’re not. We’ve only been dating for a year and a half, and I would prefer to keep our finances separate. Despite not working anymore, I still pay my half of the rent every month and have started paying for a housekeeper to come in and clean a few times a week, so our apartment is nearly always spotless and looks great.”

She then asked the community for its take on the situation and whether her actions weren’t considerate of her partner’s feelings.

“I told my boyfriend he isn’t entitled to my money and he said I was being selfish for expecting him to still contribute to the rent when I could easily afford to pay for the whole thing.”

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The post garnered a host of opinions, some ranging from genuine legal and financial advice to others advising the woman to either ditch her boyfriend or sympathize with him.

“Is he entitled to your money? of course not. But you’re in a position where paying an extra 1k of rent will not really affect you at all, and it will massively improve his life. And clearly you must love this person as you’re living with them,” one reader wrote, while another echoed similar sentiments, saying, “He’s obviously not entitled to anything and it’s your money. However, if you’re living together, then you should be pretty committed to each other. … If you love him and are committed, I think you’d be able to see the unfairness there.” 

“If you’ve been with him for a year and a half and he’s never asked for more money, he’s not a gold digger. If you two live together already, you should be a team. He shouldn’t be asking for you to pay everything and putting money in a joint account, but if you are planning to marry this guy some day I think y’all should start talking about financially building a future together,” another comment read.

Others backed the woman, saying the partner was out of line for feeling entitled to her windfall.

“Sounds like he wants you to be his mom. Maybe it’s time to move on as his true colors show more,” one comment said.

Others had more practical advice to share, saying:

“I know this isn’t a finance subreddit, but continuing to rent when you could buy property instead is a huge mistake.”

What do you think of this woman’s choices about how to spend her money? Do you feel the way she manages her finances is any indication of how she views her relationship? Let us know and pass this on to friends and family to see if they agree with your views, too.