Feeling Left Out? Here Are 7 Ways To Tell If Your Friends Have Started To Resent You
Jun 08, 2018 by apost team
Unfortunately, it can be natural for friends to feel envious of each other at some point in the relationship. It’s realistic to confess that you’ve felt jealousy towards one of your friends in the past. The good news is that there’s a way to balance this envy you feel while still encouraging your friend along.
It’s possible to feel joy at someone else’s accomplishments even if you’re jealous about not having the same success. However, when a friend has become resentful of another, things get more complicated. It can mean that your friend’s own resentment has gotten in the way of supporting you.
It may seem like this resentfulness came out of thin air. Perhaps you’ve been a bit closed-off from your friends, or are too focused on yourself to prioritize their friendship, causing resentment on their end. If you start to feel this animosity, it’s important to take a step back and reflect upon how to continue the friendship and move towards a healthy path together.
. Perhaps it’s time to become more encouraging towards your friends, or maybe it’s even time to end an unhealthy relationship. These seven signs can help you recognize when resentment from your friends is getting in the way of your relationship.
1. They Aren’t Happy About Your Blessings…
A genuine friend would support the successes that life brings you. If you just got a raise at your job, found a wonderful boyfriend, or booked a trip to Hawaii, your friend should be celebrating with you. If they seem to be suddenly apathetic about the good things occurring in your life, there’s a problem between the two of you.
2. …And They Celebrate Your Problems
Although true friends have the capability to lightly poke fun at each other, it’s not fun to have a friend who celebrates each one of your little issues. If you notice that your friend is the first one to point out your shortcomings, things that aren’t quite right in your life or they have a little too much fun laughing at your current issues, it’s time to admit that something isn’t quite right between you.
3. They Avoid You
If there’s even a hint of jealousy or resentment between the two of you, it’s likely that this friend will try to avoid you at every chance they get. In the normal friendship, you may come across spans of time where you’re too busy to get together. However, if your friend starts breaking your weekly dinner plans and is unreachable by phone, something bigger is going on.
4. You Can Tell They’re Talking Behind Your Back
If you’re a big part of someone’s life, chances are they talk about you when you’re not around. Perhaps you get the feeling that your other friends are acting differently too, or you walk into a room and suddenly it goes quiet. They may worry about you, or want to share your accomplishments with others, but if you get the feeling they’re discussing something more concerning, it’s time to admit there’s a problem.
5. They Stop Sharing About Their Lives
When your friend truly resents you, they will want to detach their life from yours. Perhaps you still get together often, but things feel secretive and awkward when you ask them about what’s been going on in their life. You should open up about what’s changed between you if you notice that your friend has become more closed-off.
6. They Compete With You
Friendships can take a nasty turn when you start competing with each other. If your friend constantly downplays your accomplishments and starts bragging about theirs instead of keeping the focus on you, it’s a sign of a toxic friendship.
7. They Lash Out
You can tell resentment is occurring in a relationship when the friend begins to use your insecurities and faults against you. They might even lash out at you by saying things that are sure to hurt you, or perhaps they just take their own problems out on you. Unless you’ve caused this in some way, it might be a good idea to distance yourself from the toxicity.
In reality, jealousy between friends can be normal. You may have some friends that are naturally jealous and some friends that will support you regardless of this envy. But when the situation turns resentful, it can be difficult to manage the friendship around the bitterness and hostility that may occur.
Have you noticed any of these signs from your friends? Show this to a friend who's feeling the same way, or maybe even to someone you need to talk it out with.