Father Calls Teen Daughter 'Ugly' After Mother Takes Her For Nose Surgery Despite Dad's Disapproval
May 17, 2022 by apost team
In a post added to the Reddit subthread, AITA, on Apr. 22, 2022, a mother asked whether she was wrong for allowing her sixteen-year-old daughter to get a nose job. As OP explains it, her husband was against the procedure and had "told [both women] only sl*ts get rhinoplasty and he [wouldn't] let [their] daughter get plastic surgery."
While the procedure would be cosmetic, the woman explained that it was also to fix an earlier surgery the daughter had had for medical reasons. She recounted how her child "has had breathing issues most of her life." OP felt for her daughter, given she also has "chronic sinusitis." She explained how taxing the condition is. In her daughter's case, she had already tried "allergy test[s], tried nasal sprays, neti pot[s], air purifier[s]...nothing helped."
OP described how they "brought [their daughter] to an ENT who suggested turbinate reduction and septoplasty." At the time, the doctor had warned the family "that the surgery could make her nose look wider." While the daughter was afraid of these changes, she agreed "because she couldn't handle not being able to breath."
She recounted how afterwards, "[her daughter] could breathe significantly better." While the procedure was successful, it made "[her] nose much wider." This new nose "didn't fit her face as well compared to her presurgery nose." The young girl complained, "but [OP's] husband and [OP} told her to give it some time."
OP then revealed how two years later, their daughter asked "for a rhinoplasty to get her nose back to presurgery shape for her birthday." OP agreed. Her father didn't.
The woman recounted the ensuing disagreements she had with her ill-tempered husband, "We had lots of fights." Undeterred by his adamant disapproval, she admitted, "I just took her to get her nose fixed." On her motivation for allowing such a young girl to get such a visible and technically voluntary surgery, she said honestly, "In my mind it's not really a cosmetic procedure if it's to correct what the previous surgery caused." Her husband, however, did not see it this way, despite having witnessed his daughter suffering from her previous condition.
OP relayed how her husband now tells his own daughter, "she is ugly." Since the secret procedure, he has maintained that his sixteen-year-old daughter is somehow grotesque now all "because she got plastic surgery." OP was not all that shocked by her husband's disproportionate response. She admitted she "probably should have known he would react like this because he is very conservative," which apparently translates to him being "against all plastic surgery." In response to her father's rude comments, the daughter "has cried and yelled at him."
Unsure whether or not she did the right thing by allowing her daughter to go through with the second surgery, given her husband's politics, OP asked Redditors, "AITA for letting my daughter get a 'nose job'?" Given she clearly knew what her husband's response would be, perhaps she should have "give[n] it some time." Maybe the daughter would've learned to love her post-turbinate reduction, post-septoplasty nose. Afterall, she was breathing better. Maybe that's all that mattered?
Reddit overwhelmingly sided with the wife, supporting her decision to allow their daughter to get the second, more-cosmetic surgery even though it wasn't as necessary as the first. The thread was utterly unconcerned with whether it was a responsible medical or parental decision and stuck instead to the inappropriate comments of the husband.
Despite the fact that the second surgery "went well and [their daughter] likes her new nose," the father still unabashedly called his own sixteen-year-old "ugly." This language, especially coming from a parent, deeply offended some Redditors.
One commenter asked, "your husband used that term?...nobody speaks to my daughter like that, I don't care if he is her father. That would be the end of that, your daughter does not need that man in her life." Another agreed, writing, "Right!?! That's grounds for divorce." Others joked that a third surgery was needed, writing, "What's the medical term for husband-ectomy…as preventative care for your daughter's self esteem and both of your mental health."
Some recounted their own non-emergency surgeries as teenagers as well as their parent's reactions, saying, "My parents would never say such a hurtful thing to me, regardless of my past! I had a septoplasty/turbinate surgery (that include a rhinoplasty) when I was 19 and it seriously boosted my confidence." She continued, suggesting, "Definitely get your daughter someone to talk to because this can kickstart a lot of negative thoughts." Hopefully, both the young teen and OP can now heal in peace, having been given the blessing of the internet.For Illustration Purposes Only (With Models) - istockphoto.com/AntonioGuillem
What was your parents' worse reaction to some teenage rebellion? Let us know — and be sure to pass this article on to friends, family, and fellow Redditors!