Father Asks If It's Wrong To Give Son Lavish Life While Ex-Wife’s Other Kids Don’t Have Similar Experience

Sep 03, 2021 by apost team

Raising a child is a huge responsibility that can come with many challenges, but also plenty of amazing moments. Being by a child’s side as they grow up means getting to watch them flourish while giving them all the love and care they deserve. However, this process becomes challenging if a family is fragmented and finding its way to co-parenting. 

When two people are mature and respectful of each other, this process is easy and supportive. They know boundaries and their roles clearly and help each other raise a child with double the love. When a child is put first, all parties in a co-parenting situation win. However, this happens less often than one may think, and unfortunately, children are put between ego battles that may be harmful. 

One father turned to Reddit for advice about how to handle a parenting situation that was causing friction between him and his ex-wife. When a couple splits after children are involved, it is especially hard on the child. The unnamed man found himself in a position where his ex's children did not have the same standard of life as his son, and this caused a wedge in his already strained relationship with his ex. 

Even though the father thought he was merely providing a good life for his son, his ex-wife was furious that their son was instead getting spoiled, and that her other children don't have the same standard of life at their home. The man then turned to Reddit for advice, and there was a lot that people had to say. 

In his Reddit post, the man began, "brief back ground. about 9 and a half years ago my wife cheated on me, got pregnant, and left me for him. courts gave them custody of our son because single dad vs family." Naturally, this was a difficult situation to have to face, but the man was able to move forward with his life.

He continued, "I've since gotten remarried and had a couple kids(7 and 5 and a half), ex and her new man have also had 2 more kids." He also described his current situation in his life, "Wife and I both work as engineers and have dang good salaries to put it lightly, ex and new husband havent ever done particularly well." 

Due to this difference in their lifestyles and financial situations, "Ex wife didnt want me sending my son 'lavish' gifts or taking him on the family vacations so her other siblings wouldnt get too jealous and build resentment towards him(her words)." 

However, their son "was understandably(I feel) upset he wasnt getting as nice a life as my other kids were as he got older. he asked to come live with me, I said yes id love to have him ex wife said no. thank God the courts sided with what my son wanted." This meant that the son was now living a life that was far more luxurious than earlier.

The man also added, "Since moving in everyhings gone fairly smoothly for us. my younger kids LOVE having their big brother around all the time, he loves them, we still go on our vacations every January." 

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He continued, that "for his 16th birthday he got a nice used buick he wanted," and said that, "Since then [expletive] hit the fan with his mom/my ex though. shes PISSED how much hes getting and getting to do, keeps texting and calling both of us about how his younger siblings will never be able to get all he has and its not fair and now her kids are upset and how im a horrible dad for forcing his siblings to resent him." 

After he was pushed enough, the father then said, "I finally told her i dont care i want my kids to have a good life, and if she wants an adulterer hers would have a better life too," and asked, "Did I go too far there?" 

The top commenter wrote, "They're not your kids. And no one is forcing them to be resentful except her. Keep being a good dad to all your kids and don't worry about it."

Another person added, "Imagine how much resentment the boy would build up if OP gave in and treated him to less than his other kids? The son would resent his paternal half siblings for getting more than him, his mother for demanding it, his father for giving in and his maternal half siblings for being the "root of the problem", and all that so that the ex's precious babies don't feel bad because they don't get as much as OP's son."

All commenters had to agree that the ex-wife's demands were unfair and that the father did the right thing by being a loving and involved father to his son. 

Do you think the father was right in his approach? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to ask others what they think about this situation as well.