Experts Suggest How To Work A Long-Distance Relationship

Nov 12, 2018 by apost team

This may surprise you: some people can feel more in love when they're not around each other. You can pull up FaceTime and recreate the magic of being together. Jo Piazza, the co-author of the novel, The Knockoff, explains it this way.

"I like having the time to miss him, to remember why I wanted to be with him in the first place." That time apart makes being together more special.

Experts agree. They think that it is healthy to start a relationship when you're in different places. Two couples therapists, the co-heads of Couples Therapy at Weill Cornell Medicine, Dr. Phillip Lee and Dr. Diane Rudolph explain why.

You meet that special someone and then go your separate ways. Every time you see each other again, that initial spark comes back. Although separation is risky, it can be worth it.

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According to this study published in the Journal of Communication, Long distance relationships (or "LDRs") are on the rise. 3 million Americans will live apart from their spouses at least once. The numbers are even bigger among college students. A whopping 75% of them are or have been, in an LDR.

The success rates for LDRs is actually quite high. You put more effort in if you're not side-by-side at all times. You learn more about your partner. And you learn more about yourself. That's because you have more time to discover and develop your own interests.

If you're in an LDR and need advice, look no further. Experts have developed 8 strategies for making it work.

Try setting a Skype date. Watch a movie together on Netflix. You and your partner can still have fun together even if you're not in the same room. Take online quizzes together and compare the results. That can create fun new conversation topics.

This is particularly important if you're in college. You have a lot of extra responsibilities on top of your LDR. Being single in college can actually be a good thing. After all, college is already a time for experimenting. You're still maturing. That can be easier to do outside of a relationship.

If you are in college and want to stay in the LDR, make it a priority. Talk about relationship goals with your partner. After you graduate, it's a good idea to get closer. Even a great LDR needs less distance every so often.

What will you do when you meet up? A weekend away? A concert? Make the most of your time together, especially if it doesn't happen that often. A "goodnight call" is also a good idea. It mimics going to bed together. Soon you'll have the real thing!

If you're insecure, you'll text your partner all the time. That gets annoying for both of you. No one likes a helicopter! Anxiety is an imbalance: one partner seeks constant reassurance, while the other just wants to be left alone. You and your partner need to decide on when, and how often, you'll check in.

There are so many different platforms to get, and stay, in touch. Texting, Skype calls, and FaceTime sessions are a few examples. Use them to your advantage. Whenever you do connect, be specific. How was your day? What did you really think of that movie? Be sure to ask the same of your partner. Don't hold back: technology can be freeing.

Know when that distance will end. It gives the relationship focus. And it's something for both of you to look forward to! Setting an end date for the distance can also test your commitment to each other.

Be careful about what you post on social media. You don't want your partner to feel jealous. They miss you enough already without added "fear of missing out." Know what's appropriate to post and what is uncomfortable. They don't need to screen everything. Just establish ground rules for both of you.

Know exactly when you'll see each other again. Trust that your partner will honor those dates. You might enjoy being apart, but face-to-face interaction is equally critical.

Long distance relationships can be hard. The effort is worth it because of how much you love your partner. What are your thoughts on this article? Are you in a long distance relationship. Tell us your experience and send this to anyone you know who might be in the same situation.