Expecting Mom Wants to Know If She’s Wrong for Excluding Baby’s Father From Delivery Room After Break Up

Sep 08, 2021 by apost team

Raising a child is a huge responsibility that can come with many challenges, but also plenty of amazing moments. Being by a child’s side as they grow up means getting to watch them flourish while giving them all the love and care they deserve. However, this process becomes challenging if a family is fragmented and finding its way to co-parenting. 

When two people are mature and respectful of each other, this process is easy and supportive. They know boundaries and their roles clearly and help each other raise a child with double the love. When a child is put first, all parties in a co-parenting situation win. However, this happens less often than one may think, and unfortunately, children are put between ego battles that may be harmful. 

Sometimes, the tension and fighting can begin even before a child is born! For one woman on Reddit, her ex-partner who did not want to have a child in the first place began demanding that he be present in the delivery room. Being pregnant while having issues with an ex-partner is hard enough, but having to navigate a future with a person who is not as understanding as they can be can make things harder.

The woman turned to the Internet for help and asked users on Reddit if it was wrong of her to stand her ground and do what is right for her. As she described the situation, it became clear that her ex-partner was demanding a lot from her, and the internet had a lot to say. 

"So, I've never really asked strangers for advice but with my family and his biased emotions I need a fresh perspective. Backstory: My ex (19M) and I (19F) were together for about 10 months I believe... I after awhile started to realize that I hadn't gotten my period since April so I course I did what any person with a uterus would do and got a test," the woman wrote in her Reddit post. 

When she found out she was pregnant, she was 4-6 weeks along according to her blood test. By the time she was 25 weeks along, however, the couple had broken up. "I'm not entirely sure when we broke up in the course of the pregnancy but it was a bit ago. Now, we had things pretty under control he was letting me make the decisions and pick names all that but when we were together I had planned for him and my mother to be in the delivery room, with COVID precautions I am only allowed 2 people to have in the room, and he was going to name the baby if they were a boy." 

The problem came after the breakup, as the woman decided that she no longer wanted to let her ex-partner name her son. She even went as far as "letting the hospital know that he was no longer going to be present and I did not want him in my room no matter what. I believe that in a situation like this my comfort in labor comes first." 

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She continued in her post, "Well, when I first told him this he was not exactly happy about it but he wasn't going to fight me but of course he went to speak with his mother and suddenly! He HAS to have the last name and he HAS to be in the room. I understand that, yes this is his child also but he is the one who left." 

The woman also explained that the man continues to expect sexual relations from her despite having broken up, and guilted her into choosing his last name for their son by going on about how he wants to join the military. 

"I get that he wants to be a dad but before anyone makes their final decisions I would also like to point out that he was all for an abortion before but when I said it didn't feel right he was furious that I told my mom that he had originally wanted an abortion," the woman revealed. She ended her post by writing, "I'm starting to slowly feel like an [expletive] for the way I'm acting but at the same time he didn't want to stick around and also didn't even originally want our son. " 

The top comment stated, "The taking of your partners name thing is just anachronism. It's not a rule. If he's not willing to be a proper dad, I don't see why you wouldn't give the child your last name. And the labor room is 110% about your comfort. Of course he shouldn't be allowed if you don't want it." 

Do you think the woman was in the right for not allowing her partner into the delivery room? Tell us your thoughts, and be sure to ask your friends what they think as well.