Every Child Needs These 5 Rules

Oct 15, 2018 by apost team

There is hardly an issue that is more controversial among parents - and those who want to become parents - than how to raise children correctly. There are countless opinions, guides, and strategies on how to educate our children. These educational approaches could not possibly differ more from each other - from laissez-faire, where children get to have all the freedoms in the world - to an authoritarian style of education, where children learn through discipline and consequences.

But are there any universal rules that all children need to grow up in the right way? We have found five rules that all parents should follow while raising their children.

Children need rules, most parents agree on that. But which of all these different rules that people and guidebooks try to convince you of are really essential. Is there such a thing as "The Five Golden Rules" that all parents should follow? What are the most important guidelines for our little ones?

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Every parent knows this situation, whether it's at the supermarket checkout or in the living room at home: no child likes to hear a "No" and usually won't accept it without grumbling and growling. When kids are confronted with a "No" they often react with loud shouting, heavy crying or protest - they're trying to provoke.

The worst thing parents can do in this situation is to panic. It's all about understanding. Parents must realize that this reaction is understandable and normal. It's essential to stay calm. Children are trying to tests their parents in these kinds of situations: What can I achieve if I provoke my mother like this? Will I get what I want? What kind of emotions does my behavior evoke, is it grief or aggression?

The way parents react establishes the frustration tolerance of their child for the future. Those who react calmly and deliberately in a "No" situation do their child a favor. Children observe how their parents behave in stressful situations and take it as an example.

It's natural that children want to take on responsibility. However, it is up to the parents to assign their children to appropriate tasks that are suitable for their stage of development and age. The tasks could be anything, whether it is emptying the dishwasher, caring for a pet, or taking out the garbage. Your children will enjoy taking on their own tasks and want to help as much as they can.

Children are able to speak and thus they can engage in discussions, master arguments and make decisions - and of course, they are able to provoke. Usually, children aren't trying to deliberately annoy their parents. They only want to figure out how their parents will react in certain situations - even if they do this unconsciously. But it is very important for children to learn that their behavior has consequences and that they have to take responsibility for it.

For example, if a child breaks their toy, the best consequence would be that the toy is no longer available to them. It would be completely wrong to buy a new toy because then the child could never learn a lesson.

Children have to learn how to deal with negative feelings and experiences. Trying to completely protect your children from these feelings is definitely the wrong strategy.

Children will always try to have it their way, with all the means available to them. If parents behave contradictory or inconsistently children can easily identify it. They are also aware of situations in which they are able to play their parents off against each other The children will experiment and mess around accordingly, but not because they are evil, but because they want to test their boundaries. Rules must therefore always be observed and clearly defined, otherwise children will find ways to defend themselves against them.

When laying down the rules, however, parents should always bear in mind that these have to be clear and, above all, comprehensible for the child. It is better to have a few clear rules rather than too many that are not followed consistently in the end.

Why don't kids play by the rules? It's mostly due to parental inconsistency. Consistency is the most important thing when it comes to rules, otherwise, the children cannot learn to deal with the consequences of breaking rules. This is an incredibly important life lesson, after all, they have to abide by the law later on as we all do.

No matter how well-intentioned these rules are, it must never be forgotten that children are children - and therefore they aren't perfectly functioning machines. Just as we adults make mistakes once in a while, break the rules or simply do what we want to do, we should also allow our children to do so once in a while. Sometimes it's better to just turn a blind eye.

Did the article surprise you? Or were you already aware of these five rules and are you perhaps already applying them? Do you have any friends with kids to whom you want to recommend these tips? Show them this article and help raising a better future.