Even After Paternity Test Shows Baby Is His, Man Files For Divorce As He Didn’t Want Kids

Dec 23, 2021 by apost team

Getting married is incredibly exciting for couples as it’s one of the most romantic ways to really show someone how much you love them. While having the ceremony and reception is extremely fun, getting to start your life together afterward is what really counts. This is also where a lot of the bigger decisions and compromises come into play, like deciding if both partners should work full time, if they want to have children, and other similar, important choices.

For one previously married couple, they decided that they both did not want to have children. They came to the decision before they got married, and the man even went along with getting a vasectomy because he was so sure that he never wanted to be a father. His wife at the time also agreed that she would take precautions to prevent getting pregnant, such as taking birth control. They also used protection to really make sure that they wouldn’t have a child.

However, the unthinkable happened, and the then-wife found herself pregnant. The man was completely shocked by the revelation, and even took multiple paternity tests to make sure that the child was really his. It turned out that it was, but the man was still not on board to become a father, and he ultimately filed for divorce.

Since then, the man and his now ex-wife have had some arguments surrounding caring for the child and how involved they would both be, leading the man to turn to Reddit in early December 2021 to ask users for their thoughts on how to move forward.

In his Reddit post, the original poster (OP) said, “I had a vasectomy almost three years ago because I never wanted kids, never liked them and just knew being a dad was never something I’d want in the cards. That was around the time my (ex) wife and I were getting serious but we both had an understanding about wanting to be childfree.”

Somehow the unimaginable happened and the woman got pregnant despite using birth control and condoms. However, OP later found out that she had stopped taking her birth control at some point during their relationship. 

“In my mind there was no way I could’ve gotten her pregnant with all these safety precautions,” OP said. “Seriously for a while I was thinking she cheated on me.” However, two prenatal paternity tests along with one postnatal paternity test proved that OP was in fact the child’s father.

Throughout the pregnancy, the pair talked about either putting the baby up for adoption or even having it aborted, but OP’s now ex-wife was against both. They went to therapy for a few months and OP tried to bond with his baby after he was born, but nothing seemed to work. OP moved out and filed for divorce, leaving his ex-wife to care for their 4-month-old son on her own. 

“Whatever child support I need to pay will be handled in court but that’s as far as I’ll be involved in his life,” OP said. When he went back to get the rest of his belongings, he and his ex got into a fight about his involvement.

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OP reminded her that he never said he would be a dad, let alone an involved one. “And that’s when I told her that line along with reminding her she knew I never wanted to have kids and we talked about different options from the very beginning,” he added. “She ignored me completely after. I got an earful from her sister later on.”

Since then, OP has been wondering if he was out of line for his comments, and asked Redditors what they thought about the situation. He also gave some more insight about his current thoughts on the matter in the comments section. “I know vasectomies aren’t 100% foolproof even with the check ups, that's why we always wanted to play it safe,” he said.

Fortunately for OP, many users agreed that he was right to be involved as much or as little as he pleased when it came to being a father, especially since he was going to pay child support. One user commented, “No judgments. If you were upfront AND you’re going to pay child support, you’re doing all you’re capable of legally and emotionally.” 

Another user said, “It’s her right to keep the baby, even after agreeing not to have one, it’s not her right to attempt to force an active parental role onto a man who married her on the agreement that there would be no kids.” A third user said, “She made a deliberate choice after promising otherwise. You are still on the hook financially which I don’t even think is fair. But that’s the law.”

Do you agree with this man’s decision? Let us know, and feel free to pass this along to your loved ones, too.