Dad Asks If He’s A Jerk For Evicting Son And His Pregnant Girlfriend After Son Makes Clear He Prefers ‘Real Father’

Oct 21, 2021 by apost team

Often as a parent, you wonder if you are making the right decisions for your child. That does not change as the child grows up, and sometimes dealing with adult children can be even more confusing. One father took to Reddit in May 2021 to ask if he was in the wrong for choosing to evict his son, age 20, and his pregnant girlfriend out of the house.

The reason the father wants his son out of the house is that the son made it seem like he prefers his biological father. When the man’s son was 10, the father found out that his wife was cheating on him and he decided to have paternity tests done on all of his children. The tests showed that his son was not biologically his. This hurt the man, but he decided to treat the boy the same as he always had, and he made the mother agree not to tell the son the truth. 

When the son turned 18, the mother came clean about his biological father, and the boy began to build a relationship with him. This upset the man who made the post, and he decided the emotional distress was too much. The solution? He would evict his son and essentially cut him out of his life entirely. 

Then the father went online to ask Reddit users if they think he was too harsh in this scenario or if he was right to kick his son out. The general agreement from commenters is that everyone in this situation was at fault. They said that the son should have been more sensitive about his father’s feelings and that the father should have communicated with his son more. Keep reading to learn more about this story.

In the man’s post on Reddit, he broke down the issue, writing: “Well, my son's relationship with his bio dad really took off. The emotions and everything all came to a head recently at the child's babyshower wherein he gifted his bio dad a shirt that said grandpa on it. Moreover he has started occasionally calling me by my first name even in front of our other kids. He has sort of made it clear to me that biology is more important than the man who raised him.”

After feeling pushed out by his son, the man took action to protect his feelings. “So instead of giving them a gift on the babyshower I quickly drew up a 30 day eviction notice after a quick call with my attorney and replaced my present with that. I'm just tired of the disrespect... but apparently he did not see it coming because he was completely blind sided,” the man wrote in his post.

Some commenters felt that the man was too harsh and that the son may not have intentionally hurt his feelings. One commenter said, “Does he even know that you are hurt by him not calling you dad anymore? His actions were insensitive but he might have been oblivious to that. But also, serving an eviction notice during a baby shower? During a pandemic? It seems like you chose the most dramatic time you could to ruin this man’s life. Do you really think of him as your son, while willing to do that?”

Other users agreed with the man and thought he was right to ask his son to leave. One person wrote, “His son’s actions were NOT subtle and he is no longer a child. This is a 20 year old man, about to become a father himself.”

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However, many comments labeled the post as “ESH,” which stands for everyone sucks here. In other words, a large number of Redditors thought that both the original poster (OP) and his son were in the wrong.

Even if the OP decides to go through with his decision to “evict” his son, the process won’t be easy. While laws related to eviction and parental obligation vary depending on the state, FindLaw explains that evicting someone — let alone your own child — can be quite difficult. That’s why FindLaw ultimately says parents and their kids should find an informal solution rather than resorting to a formal eviction notice. In some cases, however, it might not even be possible for parents to evict their own children, and even if a parent does manage to do so, they might be on the hook for child support. In New York, for example, children can continue to receive child support until age 21.

“Evicting your child will likely be an emotional process. Relationships can be damaged or broken. While most states will require that you provide ample notice for any eviction, doing so informally and helping your child develop a plan to move out can help make the process less contentious,” FindLaw recommends.

In any case, the Reddit community remains divided on this one. While some Redditors empathize with the OP and the way his son is treating him, others just as vehemently point out that it’s cruel to “gift” your son an eviction notice during his baby shower — no matter what he’s done.

Do you think the father made the right choice? What would you have done in this situation? Let us know, and be sure to pass this along to your friends and family.