Confident People Never Use These 5 Words In A Conversation

Dec 31, 2018 by apost team

While there’s not a single person that can say they’re 100 percent confident 100 percent of the time, and there is a fine line between extreme confidence and narcissism, it’s very possible to have high and healthy levels of confidence in the things you do in life. Having such confidence will serve you well in most everything you do in life from employment, relationships, friendships, and hobbies. Why? Confidence is that driving force to achieving your goals and aspirations.

Achieving a healthy level of confidence isn’t as difficult as you might think. It’s all about mindset. Don’t worry if you’re not a naturally confident person. You can build your confidence one layer at a time by avoiding certain mindsets that are responsible for degrading and eroding your confidence One of the best ways to get to this mindset is through emulation.

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Emulation might sound counterproductive to confidence, but it’s actually a powerful tool. You look at those that are highly confident and comfortable in the things they do and say. Watch how they act and how they speak to better understand the confident mindset.

Did you know that your thoughts influence your behavior? Did you know that your behaviors then influence your actions. Did you know that those actions then cycle back around to influence your thoughts? Understanding this continual cycle is key to realizing how emulation can help boost your own confidence.

So, that leaves the question of who it is you should emulate. How do you spot that person with true and healthy amounts of confidence? How they speak, or rather the type of language patterns they use, is one of the most telling signs of a confident person.

Everyone is unique, meaning that confidence doesn’t have a script it follows. That being said, there are certain wordings that confident people tend to exclude from their vocabulary. Notice how often you and the people around you use phrases like “I can’t” and “I’ll never.”

Everyone is unique, meaning that confidence doesn’t have a script it follows. That being said, there are certain wordings that confident people tend to exclude from their vocabulary. Notice how often you and the people around you use phrases like “I can’t” and “I’ll never.”

Five Words Confident People Tend To Exclude From Their Speech

Never is often an internal dialogue that strikes at self-esteem, capabilities, and confidence. “I’ll never”... get that promotion, that job, that girl, that role, or that grade. “I’ll never” is basically saying “I’m not good enough.” Plus, never insinuates an infinite amount of time, which means that you’re even removing all the possibilities of the future from the equation.

That’s a huge blow to your ego, and it’s a devastating mindset for your goals, needs, and wants. If you don’t believe you can, then no one else will believe you can. If you close the path to the future with “never,” then you’ll likely miss out on finding out if you could’ve.

Yet, the above doesn’t mean that a confident person never says never. They do. It’s just used in an expression of ability, not inability. “I’ll never”.... quit, give up, quit trying, Saying never should be used to remind you that you are good enough, not as a reminder of shortcomings and past failures.

Confident people understand that failure is almost always on the table of possibilities, but they don’t use the word “never” to excuse them or prevent them from going after what they want and need. Maybe you aren’t where you want to be in life at the moment, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never get there. Use each experience to learn and grow. Never accept that you aren’t good enough or could never accomplish something. You can, but you’ll have to be willing to try first.

This is perhaps the most commonly used and most dangerous word in the human vocabulary. It’s another word of inability. At least this one, unlike never, is just a temporary admission of inability. When you say “I can’t,” it’s more than just a red flag of surrender for others. It becomes a mindset; it becomes a belief that you truly can’t do something because you’re not good enough. If someone asks you to take tinfoil, tape, and a soup can to build a rocket ship for 50 people to fly to Mars, then “I can’t” is a rational response. Where “I can’t” becomes a problem is in doubt of the feasible, yet unknown or unsure. Reserve “I can’t” for the foolishness in life, but don’t use it as a crutch for the uncertainties and difficulties in life.

There will be times you feel like you can’t do things because you doubt your abilities, intelligence, or stamina. Remove “I can’t” from the internal dialogue that holds you back from trying and giving 100 percent. Confidence is about holding firm to the belief in personal growth and that every mistake is a learning opportunity for future successes. So what if you don’t have the tools to accomplish something in the moment. As a confident person, you’ll know that you can work towards acquiring the tools you need to say eventually say, “I can.”

This word isn’t as confident-blasting as the words never and I can’t. Still, it’s a mindset of refusal to try, personal inability, and fear of failure. “I won’t”... be able to get that job, girl, grade, or promotion. When you say “I won’t” to yourself and others, you’re proclaiming that you don’t believe you’re able, capable, and prepared to make something happen. Again, if you don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will either.

Like with the rocket ship example above, we all have limitations. There are some things in life that just aren’t possible on the scale of reality for anyone. Confident people seldom say the word “won’t” because it’s an inference of can’t, not shouldn’t. Confident people know their own limitations and they know what they should and shouldn’t take on their plates in relation to factors like time management, productivity, and efficiency.

Let’s say your boss adds another task to your full plate. You can say I won’t be able to get to that because x,y,z, which infers an unwillingness to try and lack of confidence in your skills. Or, you can say I can get to it, but here’s how and when I can do it, which directly addresses both the issue and your limitations in a positive way. Know your limits of shouldn’t , but don’t allow that mindset of “I cant” to turn into sneaky “I won’t” language that erodes your confidence.

While hope itself is a big factor in the grand scheme of life since few things beyond death are guaranteed to us, be very cautious about your use of the word “hopefully.” Saying this word to yourself and others often translates to being an idle dreamer, not a person of action. “Hopefully, I’ll get that job.” What does that imply? Does it sound like the person is idly sitting around, or does it sound like he or she is actively making moves to get the job? Destiny is a fluid thing. It’s always in motion, and it’s location is contingent upon the direction of each step you take toward it.

Confident people don’t throw up their hands and hope for the best. They don’t rely on the “what if” to sail their boat to port. They plan. They utilize. They act. They are captains, architects, and surgeons of their own lives. They believe they can, and they’re willing to make the necessary moves to get themselves where they need to be to make it happen.

Quitting and moving onward are two very different things, which is why the word quit is seldom in a confident person’s vocabulary. “I quit” is an internal dialogue of giving up when life’s obstacles become too trying or numerous. Moving on is knowing when something no longer is aligned with your goals or worthy of your efforts.

Your job or relationship may be so horrible, unhealthy, and abusive that it becomes something that’s detracting from verses enhancing your life; as such, it’s time to move on to something better if you’ve given it your all and it’s just not inline with your wants and needs.

Quitters, however, don’t give it their all before throwing in the towel. Quitters stop believing in themselves and give up on themselves. Confidence is about a true belief that you can accomplish your goals, and sometimes moving on becomes a part of that goal. However, confident people don’t lose faith in themselves, their abilities, nor their self-worth as they push forward.

Have you tried excluding the above five words from your internal and outward vocabulary? Has it helped to make you a more confident person? Perhaps, you know someone struggling to transform themselves into a more confident person and could use the help of this article? Leave us a comment with your stories, thoughts, questions, and shoutouts to achievers and strugglers in the confidence arena.